Coastline From The Sky- (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 31

Kabanata 31
Desperate

Just like yesterday, maaga ulit kami ni Arshed para sa therapy session ko. Naabutan naming may kausap si Doctor Johnson sa opisina nito nang dumaan kami para ipaalam na papunta na kami sa session room.

The man looked at me with a knowing look in his eyes, kaya napatitig ako sa kanya. He’s wearing a black shirt that perfectly hugged to his body and his biceps. His hair was in an army cut. He has bulging muscles and tattoos on his arms. He also has a coloured tear design tattoo under his left eye. And his obviously came from the military or in seals. From the way he stands snappy and the way he talks.

Si Arshed na ang kumausap kay Doctor Johnson, at nang lumabas ito ay dumiretso na kami sa therapy room.

Katulad kahapon ay inalalayan muna ako ni Arshed na makatayo sa may railing. Hindi niya ako binibitiwan hanggang sa makasiguro siyang maayong na akong nakahawak.

I was hesitant to take a step. Pero nang napagpasyahan ko na ay bumuga muna ako ng hangin bago ginalaw ang kanang paa.

I sighed when I saw my hands shaking, trying to get a hold of myself in the railing. Kailangan kong humawak ng mabuti dahil nakasalalay sa bakal na hawak ko ang bigat ko. Kung hindi ako hahawak ng mabuti ay sigurado akong malulugmok na naman ako sa tiled floor.

“Are you okay?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Arshed kaya agad ko itong tinanguhan.

I am so desperate to get back to my old life. I was so desperate to walk again. Kaya naglakas-loob akong ihakbang ang kaliwang paa ko.

I did. For a couple of steps. Pero hanggang doon lang ulit dahil bumigay na ang kamay kong nakahawak sa barandilya. Hindi kinaya ng paa ko ang pressure from my upper body.

“Shit!” I cursed. Ininda ko ang pagkakabagsak ko sa sahig kaya nataranta si Arshed.

“Captain! Are you okay? Nasaan ang masakit?” sunod-sunod na tanong niya pero hindi ko magawang sumagot o tumango man lang. I was so desperate to the point that it pressures me up.

I’m fed up with all of this.

“C’mon, maupo ka muna. Magpahinga ka muna.” Binuhat ako ni Arshed at pinaupo pabalik sa wheelchair nang hindi ako umiimik.

“Here, uminom ka muna, Cap.” Tinanggap ko ang tubig na binigay ni Arshed.

Tahimik lang ako matapos uminom. Ilang sandali pa ay sinubukan ko na namang igalaw ang mga paa ko.

“Magpahinga ka muna, Cap. Pagod pa ang mga paa mo.”

“No. I’m fine, Arshed. I need to try again.”

Desperado na talaga ako. I want to end all this now. Gusto ko nang bumalik sa dati kong buhay. Yes, my life before isn’t rainbows and sunshine, it was more on typhoons and hurricanes. But at least I can do whatever I want to do, kahit pa hindi ako suportado ng mga taong tinuring kong pamilya.

Bumuntonghininga si Arshed. I know that he doesn’t want me to pressure myself into this. Alam kong ayaw niyang pinipilit ko ang sarili ko kung hindi ko na talaga kaya. I know we have a lot of time for this. But waiting every day for  me to be able to walk again is like an eternity to me. It feels like I didn’t give my best yet.

My days are spent like that. Araw-araw akong nasa therapy room. At araw-araw ring nandoon si Arshed, nakaalalay sa akin. There were times that I knew he didn't want me to do it daily. Gusto niyang magpahinga rin ako. Pero desperado na ako. Kaya wala siyang nagagawa kapag sinabi kong magpa-praktis akong maglakad.

For six weeks of being under therapy, and for my desperation, I slowly saw the improvement of my body. Nakakatagal na akong tumayo ng hanggang sampung minuto. Very big improvement. Nakakahakbang na rin ako nang hindi nakahawak sa railing, kahit na paisa-isa lang muna iyon. But I am happy for the improvement.