Coastline From The Sky- (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 33

Kabanata 33
Without You

Isang oras yata ang tinagal ko sa loob ng shower room, kaya naman nang lumabas ako ay sobrang seryoso na ng hitsura ni Arshed. He looked so worried, at the same time was confused.

Hindi ko narinig kung tinawag niya pa ako kanina, kasi mas natuon ang atensiyon ko sa malalim na iniisip habang naliligo.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntonghininga at nilagpasan si Arshed. Dumiretso ako sa walk in closet para makapagbihis.

I heard him sigh but he didn't say anything. He waited for me until I was done changing my clothes. Nang makalabas ako sa walk closet ay naroon pa rin ito sa kwarto ko. He leaned on my door's frame with his arms crossed over his chest. When he saw me, agaran ang pagtayo nito ng maayos.

I already reminded myself that I shouldn’t act weird in front of him now. I already convinced myself that I am calm while changing my clothes. But seeing Arshed's worried eyes now, something punches my gut.

I cleared my throat to lessen the awkward atmosphere that lorded inside my room.

“Uhm... can we eat now?” I asked.

Arshed stared at me, like his reading what's really on my mind, kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

I heard him sighed.

“Yeah... the food is ready.” Tumango ako. Nauna akong naglakad sa kanya nang hindi siya binabalingan.

Habang kumakain ay wala kaming imikan ni Arshed. Ramdam ko ang panaka-nakang tingin nito sa akin pero hindi ko ito binalingan.

I’m so damn now. How could I forget that he has a girlfriend!? How could I fucking forget that he was just here because he thought it's his responsibility to take care of me? How the fuck did I forget that someone was waiting for him to come back? It's been what... eleven months?

Fuck! Hexy must have been so trusted to him to let him take care of me all these months.

Gusto kong pagmura-murahin ang sarili ko dahil sa patong-patong na iniisip.

Am I this pity for him to feel that way towards me? Does he feel pity for me because no one else comes for me? No one, from the people I considered family, came to take care of me. O kahit kumustahin man lang ako ay wala.

“Can you tell me what's bothering you, Captain?”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin dahil sa tanong ni Arshed. Siguro hindi na nito nakayanan ang inaasta ko.

I know I am at fault. Bigger fault. I was the one who encouraged him to do things that he shouldn't do. I made a move first. It's not his fault. Arshed always reminds me that he isn't in a rush. That one alone can be the sign that he doesn't like me. He doesn't want to do things for me because he was committed to his girlfriend. That one alone can be the reason that I shouldn't push myself to him. But yeah, I already did. And I am fucking stupid. I admit it.

“Carae, I’m worried. Have I done something wrong? Is there any problem? Between us?” sunod-sunod na tanong ni Arshed sa akin. His hand raked on mine.

I pulled my hand slowly and looked away.

Fuck this! Why my heart is fucking hurt now!?

“Carae... baby—”

Umiling ako. I don't want to hear any endearment he used to call me. It disgust me to myself.

“Please... tell me, what's going on? What happened?” tanong ulit ni Arshed. He attempted to hold my hand again, pero agad ko iyong naibaba. I rested my hand on my lap under the island counter.