Coastline From The Sky- (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 35

This is the last chapter of this story, the next update will be the Epilogue, Arshed's Pov.

Chapter 35

Beg

“When I woke up after the operation, I looked for you. I looked for you because I was so excited to finally see you. I was so happy, knowing that I already gave birth to you. But I couldn't find you. I couldn't find you anywhere. The doctors and nurses said your father took you away. It almost made me insane, Carae. I tried to look for you but I couldn't. I don't know where to start. I just know that you are with your father. Nitong nakaraang buwan ko lang nalaman na dinala ka niya sa Pilipinas. But when my private investigator found your father, you are not with him. I was devastated again. I am so eager to finally meet you, even if maybe you're angry at me. Twenty nine years, Carae. Twenty nine years I am still longing for you. The only thing you left for me was a piece of your baby sock. I-It was the only thing your father left from you for me.”

I was just staring at Hazal Özkan while she was crying terribly in front of me. I am still trying to process what I’ve heard and what I've learned.

She is my mother—my biological mother—the one who gave birth to me. My father abducted me when I was just an infant. She looked for me for twenty nine years, but couldn't find any clue for my whereabouts.

‘Yan ang paulit-ulit na tumatakbo sa isipan ko na pilit kong inintindi.

Why? What would be my father's reason why he did those things? Why did he abducted his own daughter from its mother? Why did he do that?

“I didn't even get a chance to hear your little voice.” My heart aches seeing how she cried in front of me for missing everything while I'm growing.

And I also did. I also did cry because now I realized why the mother I have known for my existence didn't love me. She didn't give me a chance to show how I love her. Little did I not know, there is someone who is craving to see me—to love and care for me—the way how I wanted to be cared for and to be loved. It is painful to know that we're both suffering for the same reasons: not able to love the person whom we wanted to love.

“E-Even just your cries, Carae, I didn't get a chance to hear. I didn't get a chance to see even if it was only your shadow. I just settled on imagining how you cried whenever you're hungry and want to cuddle with me.” Basag na basag ang boses ni Madame Hazal, ang ina ko, sa kaiiyak. Parang ngayon niya lang tuluyang nailabas ang kanyang pangungulila sa pagkawala ko. Sa loob ng dalawampu’t siyam na taon, ngayon niya lang tuluyang napakawalan ang totoo niyang naramdaman. Ngayon niya lang tuluyang inihayag iyon, at mismong sa akin lang. Sa akin niya lang gustong sabihin iyon dahil hindi niya kayang ipahayag iyon sa iba. Hindi niya kayang damayan siya ng iba habang nangungulila pa siya sa akin.

“I cried every single time, praying and begging so hard that someday, your father will show up with you. He will give you back to me. But no. Years and decades had passed but no one's knocking on my door to show you. Not until last month. My private investigator found a clue about you.”

I cried with her. Every time she says how she wants me to be with her, hurts me a lot.

I have never been this wanted before. I never felt so wanted by the family I used to know. And knowing how she wanted to be with me, broke my heart for a million times. She wants me. She wants to be with me... more than those people I’ve grown up with.

“I-I love you... Carae. Seni çok seviyorum bebeğim.” (I love you so much, baby.)

I cried with her. I cried with my mother. Dinamayan ko siya sa sakit na nararamdaman niya—namin. We both shared the pain thats she’s been suffering for twenty nine years.