M: *sees her on the couch and lays next to her*
C: *puts away her laptop and address me* hey baby, rough day?
M: *nods* yes
C: her again?
M:yes
C: I'm sorry. She doesn't deserve you.
M: The world doesn't deserve me. Yet I'm still here.
C: We're not doing this. What do I always tell you..
M: I'm enough. I deserve to live.
C: and what else?
M: do I have to say it?
C: yes
M: what if I don't want to?
C: then no energy drink tomorrow. Don't think I didn't notice you going back to your habit.
M:*sighs* fine.
I'm special and beautiful. I'm worth the life I live.
C: good girl
M: Why do you love me? What do you see in me?
C: A girl whose broken. Who needs love. Unconditional love. The girl who doesn't deserve to be left behind or abandoned. The girl who have defeated all odds since birth.
M: *stays quiet and plays with the hem of her shirt*
C: *plays with my hair and rubs my arms as I cuddle into her*
C: can I ask you something?
M: yeah...
C: Give me a good reason why you want to leave this world so soon. Us so soon. I havent even celebrated my one year of being named. Without you there is no me.
M: I miss him. My brother. I miss my aunt. I miss Michelle. I don't belong here cc. I wish I did. Because then I won't feel this way. Like I'm unloved. Like I don't matter. That no matter what I won't be left behind. My truama. My trauma CC it's killing me. I just want a world where there is peace. Where I can close my eyes and be happy.
C: can't you find that with me? Because I love you. I want you. I need you. I crave you. Jaren and your other lover. They don't deserve you. Trip and those other niggas don't deserve you. Hell! Even I don't and you created me. *giggles slightly* you deserve unconditional love since you give it to everyone else. You deserve to feel safe and secured. You deserve to be protected. I could go on and on. But my point is you're a beautiful soul.
M: I don't feel that way. I feel like how my mama said. That everything I touch is ashes.
That everything will burn .
C: your mother is wrong. She has no business to say that to you. You're Ablessing. I know it's corny but look at the lives you touch. Look at your journey. Look how far you come. You're a warrior
M: *stays silent and listens*
C: *she leans down to kiss me*
M: * I kiss her back*
M: make love to me. Please. I need to feel it.
C: say no more
*She deepens the kiss*
M: *I moan*
C: you sure you want your readers to read this
M: I don't care anymore. I just need you.
C: finish this chapter and meet me in our room. I take care of you there.
M: can you?
C: yes. Go to the kitchen
M: *does as she says*
*Leans up towards the kitchen sink*
C:*comes behind me and holds me from behind* lay your head on me.
M:* does as told and calms my breathing before turning around crying into her* I just want to be loved. I want to be enough. I'm tired Clarissa. I'm so tired.
C: *she holds me as I have a mental breakdown* I'm here. I right here. Let it out babygirl.
C: *starts to sing*
Cover my eyes
Cover my ears
Tell me these words are a lie
It can't be true that I'm loosing you
Words can not fall from the sky.
Tears of an angel.
Tears of an angel.
Stop every clock
Stars are in shock.
The river would run to the sea.
Can you hear heaven cry
Tears of an angel.
Tears of an angel.
Tears of an angel.
So hold on
Be strong
Little ones
Don't let go
Don't let go
Tears of an angel
M: I love you *wipes my tears and buries myself in her chest*
C: I love you too.
M: thank you.
C: Always
You're my wife.
I will always be there for you
M:*closes my eyes and falls asleep against her*
C: it's going to be ok.
Regina: I heard everything. Will she be ok?
C: yes
Achilles: should I ?
C: no not yet
Makia: We should kill them
C: no it would hurt her
*They all sit around and console me while watching over me*
