Reason for my break
I have truly believe to explain why I needed a break till June and now why I am extended it till I can heal
I suffer from chronic depression. I don't stay in bed like most. I'm the opposite. When I'm depressed I clean non stop.
I suffer from the lack of sleep. I have insomnia and also my dreams haven't been too well as of late.
I suffer from sh and unalive myself very heavily. It at a moderate level at the moment. But it does increase.
I have had a huge breakup and I'm trying to push my body, heart and mind to love someone else fully. To find some sort of home in them.
Because my arises is always the one I want but unfortunately we have different dreams as of now. It just hard to love someone for that many years and then stop. I don't know how she does it but for me it's not easy.
My dark thoughts are back. Especially concerning my weight.
I have to take care of my dad now much more heavier because he is weak. Barely can walk without getting tired.
His light is gone. Until you watch a parent die and you can't do nothing to help well... Hit me up. But until then I don't want no one to tell me that I need to come back and be among the earth.
My dad's family disown me. So I have lost 50% of who I am.
Bills are piling up. To top off all of that my accounts and stuff keep getting flagged for fraud. Yes they are getting fixed but it is still not cool for me to go through this when it's crunch time for my trip next month.
I use to be filled with love, hope and encouragement. Now I am filled with love, encouragement and doubts. So that's also a huge change.
My rod is facing hardships. Concerning her health and I'm deeply worried.
Aquarius male does not love me. I feel and seen that he is a Playboy and is probably going to use me. But due to how my family has been treating me. I'm clinging.
Pisces female wants to date me and I am trying to give an answer out of the two but like I don't know who to choose. The woman and I use to date in HS. It went well but we got broken up due to domestic abuse and her being a ho. Plus I was dealing with my own shit.
So no I am not ok. I won't be ok.
So I am trying to breathe and be me.
This is among the reasons why I am extended my break.
Have a great day and thanks for reading ☺️
