CHAPTER LII: Deja Vu (Castiel)

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CASTIEL

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CASTIEL

I HAD lost my reason for fighting. Without Cassidy, I was akin to a ship adrift in the vast cerulean seas. Without her, the spark that gave me hope could no longer be lit. Without her, there was nothing else to fight for.

Yes, I could continue my quest for justice. But once all was said and done, could it bring her back to life? Could I see her bright smile again? Could I hear her call me "Kuya Cas" again? Kung oo, gagawin ko ang lahat para mapanagot ang taong dahilan kaya siya nalagay sa gano'ng sitwasyon. Kahit isakripisyo ko pa ang kaliwang binti o braso ko, gagawin ko.

But no. Whatever I would do from this point onward, it would not matter anymore. It would not change a single damn thing. Maybe seeing Alaric the Prick pay for his crime could give me some sense of comfort and justice. But it would only be a fleeting moment. The victorious feeling would come and go. Then I would be left with nothing but pain.

Right after my sister's interment, I decided to go back to our house and stay there for a few days. Hindi ko kakayaning haraping mag-isa itong dinaramdam ko. I tried to do it in the apartment right after Priam's attempted assassination. If it weren't for Fabienne, my fellow tenants would have smelled something off from our unit and would have soon found me dead.

Maybe I should have stayed there and let myself rot in the dark room. If I did, I would not have to face this heartbreaking news. I would not have to confront the reality of my sister's death. Ignorance is bliss. But here I was. Broken. Shattered.

For the next few days, I left my phone on my bedside table. Ilang beses din 'yong nag-beep at nag-ring. Sinadya kong huwag sagutin ang mga tawag. I was not in the mood to talk. I was not in the mood to do anything at all. Ilang meals na rin ang ini-skip ko dahil hindi ako nakaramdam ng gutom. It felt like deja vu because the same thing happened weeks ago.

My phone must have buzzed so many times that it fell from the table. My right hand grabbed it lazily and turned its screen to my face. More than thirty chat messages and more than ten missed calls. Most of them must be trying to cheer me up from the melancholy that locked me up. Unfortunately, none of their words could make me feel any better. Maybe if they knew a magic spell that could resurrect the dead or turn back the hands of time, I would entertain them immediately.

Who knows? I checked my inbox, hoping that I received a message to that effect. My thumb scrolled down the messages, then up again.


USC – Tabitha Rustan
Hey, Cas. Since you've been unresponsive, I'm gonna reinstate the three USC officers na, ha? Can't do it alone with the three juniors here especially if you're gonna be absent for a while.


USC - Val Encarnacion
Good morning, Cas. I heard from Tabby that you didn't drop by the USC office today. I also heard that you reinstated Lav, Sab and Rowan. Take as much break as you need for now. Huwag mong piliting pumasok, okay? Leave everything to them muna. Take care always.

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