MASCARA

Chapter Nineteen

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"No, they're all wrong." I yell for the second time in reference to the plush, white dresses in front of me.

Those had been my favorite words all morning. For some reason, I hated them all. Every single dress was wrong. I wanted something and I wasn't getting it.

"They're so beautiful," Jessica whispers and I glance at her sadly.

"They are." I say quietly as I take a seat on the navy blue couch in the dressing room.

"Can we have the room please?" My nana asks and everyone scurries, leaving the room silent and peaceful.

"You want her here. These dresses are beautiful. You just want her here to give you the okay. I understand that but it's hurtful and you're being selfish." Nana says grabbing my hands in hers.

"How?" I ask in a whisper, already knowing the answer.

"You have women, that want to be here, around you. Even if she were here, she wouldn't deserve to see you at your best or at all." She explains and I hug her, clinging onto her and her words like a baby to her mother.

"I love you." I say hugging her tightly.

We sit that way for awhile before I go to retrieve the others.

"I apologize to all of you. You're here, you're present, and I appreciate that more than you know." I declare and we all go back to dress shopping.

JAYS POV

Today I was spending the day with Maya, which was much needed.

"Which one do you like?" I ask her, holding up both of the small puppies.

"That one," she replies pointing to the small, brown dog.

"Yeah, me too." I agree, handing the puppy to the vet and we take a seat in the waiting area.

"Daddy, I'm so happy." She says out of the blue.

"About?"

"You and K. Getting married. I had a talk with mommy about it. She says you look really happy, so she's happy. She likes Miss K a whole lot too." She explains.

"Yeah, what else did she say?" I ask.

"That you're a good dad. She always says that. I think you're a good dad too. You're really nice and you love me. We both know you love me." She continues and I grab her, hugging her closely to me.

I thought about her mother on a daily basis. Constantly wondering what she would've thought about my parent skills and what she might've thought of Katana. I think they would've been friends.

"Mr. Ovard, here's your puppy, you just have to name her before you all leave." The vet says handing me the small puppy.

"Maya, it's up to you."

She ponders it for a bit before she reaches over and whispers in my ear.

"I like it. We wanna name her Hope." I say and the woman writes the name down.

"That's a good name."

A little later, we make it home and I spit Katana sitting on the couch, a cup of water balanced between her legs with a stack of magazines in front of her.

I put Maya and Hope in bed, then go to talk to Katana.

"How was dress shopping?"

"It was really fun. Your mom is a rebel, she wanted me to wear a pink dress." She says laughing and shaking her head.

"Yeah, I'm sure she did. She's extra. How did everyone get along?"

"They were great."

A thought occurs to me and I grab the cup out of her hand before picking her up.

"What the hell?" She says as I lay her down on the bed.

I kiss her lips and down her stomach before stopping and giving her a wink.

Let's just say, I ate dinner twice that night.