🃏 Adulthood 🃏

♠️ Bride or Daughter? ♠️

I will lose them.

- Bride or Daughter?
(Poem by me)

I cherish these good memories
Even if we have made many bad ones
I will forever remember the loving stories
Where we truly had fun

Where we felt like a family
So I wish this would stay
Yet I will lose you on a fateful day
And you will hate me for eternity

You will never see me beyond my heart
What it desires, whom it loves
Of this home I will never be apart
And so the air escapes my lungs

I am your daughter
Until I walk down that aisle
As I stand across her
I cast a bittersweet smile

For I will lose all of you
No longer your daughter, only her bride
Forever stuck in this world view
I will no longer hide

She will grin back at her loved ones
While I will stare at the empty seats
You wish you had a son
Whom you would never mistreat

Can you not see me beyond my dear wife?
But religion matters most
I will never see you again in my life
You will never be what I hoped

I know I will be disowned
So bittersweet, I try to enjoy the present
Even if all my words are controlled
Soon I will pay my own rent

Can you not put down that book?
And look into my eyes?
Just cast me one last look
While listening to my cries

I am your family, your blood
Your daughter, once your pride and joy
The one, you comforted, you hugged
The one, who would act like a boy

I may not love, whom you expect
But my heart still beats like yours
Am I not deserving of your respect?
This is not a "sin to cure"

I still value marriage
I still value what I was taught
Being a housewife, I still cherish
All I wish, is your support

Only this one difference
Will cost me my entire family
Even love like this can be innocent
Pure of any profanity

All your pride, it will disappear
Replaced by deep disappointment
So I will dance alone under that chandelier
By you, I will become forgotten

How could I change, what is in my heart?
I cannot ignore it, I have ambitions as well
But I have to worry being caught
To go into heaven, you turn this into hell

Wish my lover could meet you
She would have been so excited
Your religion makes this taboo
Ultimately, this care is one sided

We could have shown her our culture
One, I will never be able to practice
Because my heart bleeds a different colour
At this point, I am only an actress

Wish we could stay a family
But you are such a good Muslim
Prayers overwrite all rationality
Living under a hurtful system

You will no longer be present
Say of this name, I am not representative
I wish I could have made you grandparents
But you will only be estranged relatives

[Written in: 10/06/2024]