Chapter 28: Knots and moons

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The morning after went well as Andrea was allowed to eat solid foods, astounding me that the doctor was okay with her eating anything aside from soup and other liquids.

No one really tried talking about the issue at hand and carried the atmosphere as light as possible while in our situation and avoided the topic of our marriage but I've been worrying about that so I'll bring it up when Andrea and I are alone when they get us some lunch.

One by one, Dad, Mom, Martha and Marcus went out of the room to grab us some spaghetti bolognese with meatballs as Andrea requested and I gulped, trying to form sentences in my mind, how I should approach her with the topic and the like.

"Gears." Andrea said and I looked at her questioningly. What?

"The gears in your head are running a hundred mile per second. What is it?" Andrea asked.

"The wedding. I was just thinking about it, you know? With this incident, I-" Unable to finish my sentence coherently, I heaved a sigh.

"Look, I don't know if you still want to marry me and I sound so selfish right now but thinking of you here, lying on that damn bed makes me wonder, would you still want to marry me, together with all the baggage with me?" Time was horrifyingly suspended as it made my chest a bit tighten with whatever answer she will tell me but I also felt relieved as I let the words out of my mouth. Let me be damned then!

"I don't get why you are doubting... us. This incident cannot and would not tear us apart, it made me realize my capability and to what extent would I do anything for you and I now know that deep in my heart, I would attempt and do anything for you and I know you'd do the same. That's why you were there when I needed you, Max. And you should know by now that I'd do the same if I were in your shoes. I love you, Max. Don't doubt this, don't doubt us." Andrea said, trying to hold back tears and I felt crappier than I've ever felt in my whole life.

"No, don't cry it's just that- I'm not making myself get to the point, cazzo! I'm scared that you're terrified from what happened to you since the incident happened because you were with me, I can't stomach the fact that you got harmed because of me." I explained and I got a shake of her head.

"It wasn't your fault. In fact, it's no one's fault except William's. Stop blaming yourself for a fault you've never done." Andrea said and I eventually gave in to my feelings, not giving a single damn if this woman sees me cry. Besides, she'll be my future wife anyway. I held her hand close to my heart as I bow down, letting my forehead touch the bead from her refraining from seeing me as I do weep my laments.

"The thought of you being hurt, I cannot imagine what kind of terror he put you in, how bravely you defended and protected yourself from him, him hurting the most precious, my most beloved person in this whole planet... because of me! Me! A stupid fool that I am, I can't even protect you, how could you possibly want to marry a gutless, spineless man like me?" I released all my pent-up emotions and I can feel and I know that she is shocked with my emotional outburst. She lovingly plays with my hair as a way of comforting me but it only made my dignity sink lower than Mariana Trench even more.

"You're even comforting me. See? I am not the man for you, Andrea and it scares me-"

"I am comforting you because you need it and because I need and want to. Max, please. In sickness or in health, in joy or sorrow, when in need of solace, I would be there. I love you, Maximillian so shut the fúck up." Andrea said and I snort-laughed when she cursed me but I had a buzzy feeling when she mentioned some parts of the traditional vows.

"We can still move the wedding, you know? So you can have more time to thi-"

"I'm so sorry if we should move it a little bit. Tomorrow should've been our wedding day and now because of this damn accident, I won't be able to walk down the aisle faster than I wanted."

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