♤SPRING SHIELD (MxM) ~fantasy~♤

Shouldn't that count as something

Kristian

I watched Elijah freeze for the second time this month and this time it had something to do with me. Just like last time.
He froze and a monster pummelled him to the ground. I thought I was watching him die. That's why I didn't move either as I watched on in shock.
Then he yelled at Relish. After I had already done that.
Relish and me were at a meeting but when our conversation got more... suggestive. He told me that he fell in love with me at first sight,with my beauty,my fashion sense and the way I talk. He'd do anything to be with me. But he said it wasn't going to happen.
I asked him why. He said that I already given my heart to someone else. Someone he could never top,someone who I have chemistry with. Not just compatibility. He said me and Elijah were entertaining delusions trying to deny what was happening between us.
I told him that's a load of crap and not true. And we hate each other,the only thing I like about him is his kids. That's it.
But on the way to where Elijah was he told me if it was him being pummelled to the ground,I would've ran. But when it was Elijah,I stood there. I waited to know he was okay. Now I'm questioning a lot about myself.
"Thanks for taking me home,Lewis."the sound of both our car doors closing in the death of night,feels familiar. We do this all the time but now it feels different,more sullen per say.
Gingerly,he massages the brige of his nose and sighs,"Pleasure."he mutters,looking away. He just handled a mission then treated patients with his powers. This is the most exhausted I've ever seen him.
Slowly he pulls his hands out from his trench coat and sticks them out to me,"Give me your hands,"he instructs,
"No,I'm fine. I can just put some ointment and-"
"I wasn't asking you. I was telling you."
Begrudgingly I give him my hands. "You know,aggression isn't a good look on you especially after what happened back there."
"Oh,so what I wasn't supposed to make that assumption? Kristian,I had the right."
"What right do you have over me as my boss to assume I was on date?"
"You're right,Kristian. What right do I have? Compared to Relish and McConnell what right do I have?"when he lets go of my hands their healed. The bruises gone but I don't feel better as I watch him walk away and face the street beside my apartment building. "Call me petty if you want. But you know what? I think I do have a right,when this all started I gave you chance even though I had no obligation to. I let you prove yourself."
Shaking my head,I ask,"Lewis,what are you on about? Is this the effects of sleep deprivation?"
"No,you're gonna let me finish. Because I'm tired of pretending I don't feel this way,when you wanted to win that stupid competition I was there for you. Sitting on the cold hard floor of your tiny apartment telling you how to do it every night for TWO WEEKS."he holds two of his fingers up in the air,his breath showing up in front of him from the cold in the atmosphere,
"If I knew were going to hold it over my head I wouldn't have told you to."I cross my arms over my chest to stop the chills from going deeper. When will he be done so we can go inside,
"You know what the difference between me and them is? That I'm not holding it over your head. I did that cause I wanted to because I saw you for you."
Rolling my eyes,"Thank you so so much,for you divine attention can we go inside now?"
"No,actually."he steps away,like he's avoiding me,"I'm not going to go inside because I'm angry. Extremely. Tell me,would McConnell drink gross coffee you call great every morning because you find it fun? Would Lucian freaking Relish entertain your weird twisted sense of humour? Do you even feel like yourself when your around them?"
Feeling attacked I put my hand up,"Are you done? What is this even about?"
"I don't know."he says,putting his hands on his hips,
"Are you feeling embarrassed because I saw you getting pummelled? I won't tell anyone-"
"That's what I should be feeling but I'm just feeling angry because,I have the right to make assumptions. I have the right to worry. I have the right by association because,as petty and stuck up as it is,I was here first,Kristian."
"You were where first? My apartment building...?"The only things lightning up his face is the street lamp a meter away. The way he looks at me is one of irritation and frustration,
"I knew you first. I met you first. I HELPED you first."he points at his chest continuing with his rants that sound like angry riddles,
"No one is denying that,okay?"I touch his shoulder and he pulls away like I just burned him,
"No one? Are you no one? You act like it doesn't matter at all,every single day but I was here first,dammit!"his voice sounds like an echo of rage in the darkness,
"...Lewis."I warn,
"You sleep over at my house,you said you love my kids and I believe you goddammit. I believed you,I liked arguing with you because for the first time in forever I felt like I didn't have to worry about what I said around someone. About bringing my family around someone. I trusted you wholeheartedly,I admired you. And what about you? Did you ever or was I just something in the way?"
"... why would you say that?"
"Okay say you did then. Say I'm wrong."
"I- you just..."
"You can't."
"I don't know Lewis this is-"
"New to you? This hasn't been new to me at all! I think about you way more than I should,an hour doesn't go by without me asking myself where you are and how I think you're doing. An hour doesn't go by without me getting angry at Relish and whoever the hell the other guy thinks he is because I WAS HERE FIRST!"
I'm stunned into silence when he says this. I step back and so does he. No matter how far I go,I can feel the tension. The anger that he's been burying away. Hiding and now it all doesn't even matter. Because it's out in the open. He keeps stepping back.
Regret. He regrets saying anything.
"...shouldn't that count for something?"he whispers to himself,so quiet that if the world was awake I wouldn't have heard him. But I did.
Now I'm confused. "Can you come up with me? To my apartment?"I ask,
He shakes his head. Probably thinking about how he can't do that. "It's okay,I'll watch you walk in from here,I won't leave."
"Tonight,I saw a giant black monster attack a man and apparently it hurt seven people. Some are fatal. I'm traumatised,can just come up? It won't take long."
Defeated he walks ahead of me,"Let's go."
I'm not scared at all. I'm just trapping him.