Sweet Dreams 「a Vampire Knight story」

Part Fourteen: Self-Diagnosing My Own Madness

All night, I had been trying to fall asleep, only to fail. I couldn't stop thinking about Yuki and Zero. I know that it was stupid to have these thoughts but I was jealous. By the time I had drifted off, it was already morning. I didn't have class today, but I knew that I was supposed to get up early for some reason. Then I remembered. The Night Class was coming back to Cross Academy. And that meant that Kaname was coming back too. While I was able to escape the thoughts from my mind during his absence, I knew they would return once he came back. It was actually so weird that I had this attraction, maybe it was just a hate-love crush? Hopefully.

I waited outside near the gates with Yuki and Zero and I started getting nervous. When I saw their car pull up, I jumped at the presence of the Night Class. Yuki was all too excited to see Kaname. Zero, I can guarantee, didn't really care and was probably dreading Kaname returning.

"Welcome back, Kaname. The Headmaster told me you were coming back today. Earlier than planned."

Kaname seemed to smile even more at Yuki. The rest of the Night Class just stood silently behind him, like always. But I noticed that Senri and Takuma were missing. They probably had gone their separate ways during the holidays.

"I just wanted to see you, Yuki. Here, I brought you a present."

"Oh thank you."

Kaname handed Yuki something small, but the way her eyes glimmered at it, I could guess it was beautiful.

"It's a rose encased in resin. It blooms only once every 10 years, it's a rare item. So I decided to get it."

I looked down at my own glass heart. It still sparkled with beauty in the light. What was I seriously thinking?! Liking Kaname? Me? I really had to get back on the horse. That wasn't me. I guess hanging out with Vampires a little too long can do things to you.

Zero came over to me and held me close. It all seemed to be alright when Zero was near. I wouldn't feel uneasy or weak. He made me feel like I could do whatever I wanted. And I guess that's why I would start liking other guys when I wasn't with Zero. Because then I would forget everything and become vulnerable. I completely forgot how long I had been staring off into space, until Kaname broke my thoughts.

"Would you have preferred food?"

"No! I was just thinking how beautiful it is."

Kaname proceeded walking and the Night Class followed, but they were stopped by Yuki.

"Kaname, wait! I would like to talk with you later."

"Just the two of us?"

"Y-yes."

Behind Yuki, I saw Ruka's face spark up. Kaname never really paid as much attention to the Night Class as he did to Yuki. Yuki was, as he put it "His Dear Girl" and the only one in the entire world.

"Fine then. I'll see you tonight."

The Night Class continued walking with Kaname and I could swear I saw Ruka push Yuki to the side only slightly. I then felt the urge to say hello. It couldn't hurt to at least be friends with the Night Class.

"I'm glad you've all returned in good spirits."

"Yes, thank you, Serena. It's good to see you in good spirits as well."

And then the Night Class left the space and the atmosphere shifted back. Yuki was so focused on the rose that she didn't even notice Zero come up behind her. I could tell that Zero was a little worried about Yuki. I just wish I knew why.

"Don't worry, I feel better after crying all night."

At those words, I knew something was up. And I needed to know. So I screamed it out. Because I couldn't help being left out any longer.

"WHAT IS IT YOU AREN'T TELLING ME ZERO? WHY AM I SO LEFT OUT?"

The both of them were quite shaken with my reaction. And they both seemed a bit on edge. And in a way, Zero looked guilty.

"Serrie, I've been doing the exact wrong thing to you. I've been drinking blood from Yuki, and I've left you out of my Vampiric life."

I was surprised that Zero would even do that. He would never go behind my back like that. Would he? I fell to my knees on the hard ground and accepted that the Vampire world wasn't my place. I had no idea what was going on half the time and I could never understand how anything worked. It was all easier when I hated Vampires and Zero and I only met eye to eye from a distance.

"Serrie? What are you thinking now?"

"That I should have never come back into your life. I can't even stay in the present. I'm not supposed to be involved with this. I should be spending my days searching for the Vampire who killed my father!"

About now, I was just spitting out confusion and fury. But the thing was, I was only ever real friends with these people. And that was it. And I didn't feel like being alone again for all those years.

"Serena, what do you need? What can I do to help you?"

"I need-I need some time. Alone. Just to think about what I'm doing. I'm going to start finding myself again. Because this isn't who I am. Or was, for that matter."

"Do what you have to do, Serrie. And when you're ready, I'll be waiting.

"Thank you, Zero. Thank you so much."

I ran away and back to the spot where Zero showed me the cherry blossoms. To be honest, I was no Vampire freak like Yuki and I wasn't raised on privileges. But I knew one thing, what it was like to be Human. And that's what I was going to do.

I'll also show you a sweet dream... Next night.