Just Kidding

Crazier

||Remember Taylor and Harry were rumored to be dating in the fall, so this is before December and their public date.||

Taylor.

Waking up in the morning used to be easy. I'd wake up and take a shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, maybe put on some makeup, get dressed, make some breakfast, then go to the studio and write or record. Doing some interviews every now and then but I've had time off the past month so I haven't had to maintain that schedule. I might go for a jog before my shower. Point is, I had a routine and made a plan for the day.

Waking up next to Harry, I don't have any plans at all. I don't want to get out of bed and take a shower, I don't want to go for a run, I don't want to make breakfast. I know I should probably brush my teeth before he wakes up, but having my luck I'd probably wake him up.

I ignored my conscience and slid out of bed, leaving the covers on the bed. Harry didn't seem to notice and I silently cheered myself. I tip-toed to the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind me. I have to at least brush my teeth and wash my hair. It's going to be a rude awakening for Harry if he talks to me and smells the dinner I had last night. I wonder what we will do today? If we are going to drive again or if we are just going to hang out here and watch movies?

He probably will go home and hang out with his friends. He wouldn't want to spend so much time with me or we'll both go mad.

"Taylor?" I heard behind the door. I opened it and saw Harry sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes. "What do you think about meeting my mum this weekend?" he was tired but he still smiled. It was a lazy smile, half of his smile was wide and kind of drooped. I giggled and shut the bathroom light off. Harry lifted some of the covers and tapped his hand beside his chest. I laughed and jumped on top of the bed, right next to him. I checked the time on the clock on the wall. It was only four AM. I thought it was later than that. "Well?" Harry whispered into my neck.

"It's a little soon don't you think?" I asked.

"Not at all. You're a girl I really like and my mum should know that?" he smiled with his eyes closed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my stomach, looking like he is uncomfortable, but he also looked peaceful. I drew random circles with my finger on his back, then spelled out my name and his, and then drew a heart in the small of his back.

That's such a high school move. I hope he didn't feel what I just did.

"What if she doesn't like me? Or what if we break up and you find someone you love a lot and you just look back on us and feel stupid. The girl you bring to your mom should be a girl you're going to marry and have kids with, not some girl you're supposed to date to make your career look good. I don't know if you're thinking this through and-" Harry stopped me from talking.

I was sitting up with my back against the headboard. He sat up and moved my hands away from my head. He chuckled at me and rubbed the back of my hand with the pad of his thumb.

"You have to calm down." He kept chuckling. "I'm not proposing to you," I looked at him and felt my palms sweat.

"Basically, you are." I shrugged, we both ended up laughing.

"It's just a lunch with the woman who raised me, Taylor." He had an unreadable emotion in his eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him and hesitated before answering.

"I don't know..."

"Come on!" He sighed and scooted down, just to dramatically fall on his back.

"It's a big step! I might consider it if we have dated for four months, but..not when we have only dated for four days." I crossed my legs.

"It's been more than four days," he rolled his eyes with a smile. I smiled back and scooted down just like him. I turned on my stomach and leaned my head on my arm. "What's your favorite song?" He asked, the roughness is his voice was captivating as ever.

We laid here, talking and laughing with each other, like we had been for years on end. By the time morning came, the real morning, he got dressed and left. He had an interview today that he couldn't miss.

I felt hollow. My bed seemed too empty and my house seemed too big. It was too hot sometimes and too cold. It felt empty, I felt empty.

Instead of sulking for the entire day, I decided to try and write down some new song material.

"Your green eyes, your infectious smile, the way you talk," I wrote down. I had no rhythm but it was something for now. Something about it was missing, or the words weren't right, or the flow was wrong? I don't know.

"Your green eyes, and your contagious smile, and those lips and the way you talk to...." I stopped. That doesn't even rhyme.

I put my pen down and picked up my phone, dialing Selena.

"Yes Taylor?" She answered quick.

"Are you busy? Or can you come over?" I asked, chewing on the skin on my thumb.

"You do realize what time it is?" She sounded annoyed already. I looked at my phone to see that it was almost nine at night. I spent the whole day obsessing over Harry.

"Oh my god." I said out loud.

"I'll be over in a few. You better have food." She hung up and I was, again, left to emptiness.

It was almost an hour since Selena and I have gotten off the phone. I was worried something happened to her, until she called and told me she couldn't come over due to paparazzi.

I sat back down and picked up my pen. I sat here for so long, thinking about my life and everything I have been through. I can't capture anything from my life that is worth writing about.

Expect for Harry.

He's so funny and polite, just about the nicest guy I know. He always makes me feel better about myself and when I start feeling down, he always knows how to pick me up. Sometimes I feel like we are perfect for each other and then I remember, I felt that way about so many other guys.

Harry won't like me as much as soon as he hears about how many guys I've actually dated.

All of them were so simple yet, we made it complicated. I made it complicated.

"We're a crooked love in a straight line down," I wrote down.

It was almost midnight. I set my pen down and jumped on my bed.

Maybe some inspiration will hit me when it's a new day.

||Omgggggg shout out to @irreswiftable and @joana1313 for commenting and voting (:||