I opened my eyes into a room full of light and all white. The only coloured things around me was the room divider's green cloth which was placed at the corner of the room and the flowers besides my bed. The room was quiet, except for the beeping machines and the sound of dripping glucose next to my bed, almost over my head.
I felt weird near my nose. I raised my hand to touched the tubes. Now, I knew how Hazel Lancaster would have felt all her life in 'The fault in our stars'. I felt ticklish in ever breath I take. There was one more tube. Okay so, this will take time to adjust!
I then felt something pricking in my chest. I slipped down my hand inside and only could feel the bandage. It was paining and itching at the same time. It also felt like someone had put on a fire inside my chest.
Most importantly, I was alive and I had Theo's heart beating inside my chest for real and literally. I could only believe that because of the burning sensation inside my chest.
I pressed the nurse call button. But no one showed up. I pressed it for more one or two times and then gave up. I looked up at the flowers resting in the vase and thought who could have brought them.
I was intruded by the door opening and found a nurse at the door. As she came in she smiled at me as if she knew me from years. I returned her a smile.
"Good afternoon." She said.
"What time it is ?" I asked.
"It's 3:30 p.m." She turned around to check the time from the digital clock which was just behind the flower vase. I didn't noticed it earlier.
"How long I've been sle.."
"Sleeping?" She cut me off in between and completed my sentence.
"Mhmm." I looked at her, waiting for an answer.
"You were shifted to this recovery room at around 5 in the evening, yesterday. You are sleeping since then."
What? That's like 22 hours.
"Here!" She handed me few colourfull pills. "Take your medicines."
"What are these for?" I asked taking the glass of water she was handing me.
"Alice, you're back with your unstoppable questions! And, those will be your pain killers." Dr. Phil entered.
"I feel like a zombie. Why do I have these tubes?" I felt relaxed with Phil's presence in the room.
"The tube which is in your throat is, so that your breathing may be assisted with a ventilator until you are stable enough to breathe on your own. The breathing tube may remain in place for a few hours or up to several days, depending on your situation.
Then the other thin, plastic tube inserted through your nose into your stomach, is to remove air that you swallow. The tube will be removed when your bowels resume normal function. You will not be able to eat or drink until the tube is removed." He explained. I hardly understood the exact purpose of those tubes. All I knew was that it's just a matter of time. After a while, they all will be gone and I will be back to normal breathing and eating, soon enough.
Dr. Phil kept on babbling about other precautions and how for a while I'll be monitored in the recovery room before shifting me to the ICU. But all my mind could think about was how Theo might be doing.
"How is Theo?" I interrupted him in between.
"Theo is fine. He's doing great till now. Are you paying attention to what am I saying or are you in your own world?"
"Ofcourse I am sorry for this interruption. You continue."
He continued his explaination.
"Your blood samples will be taken frequently to monitor the status of the new heart, as well as other body functions, such as the lungs, kidneys, liver, and blood system. You are on special IV drips to help your blood pressure and your heart, and to control any problems with bleeding. As your condition stabilizes, these drips will be gradually decreased and turned off as your condition allows."
He then called out the nurse who was busy changing my drips.
"After the breathing tube is out, your nurse will assist you to cough and take deep breaths every two hours. This will be uncomfortable due to soreness, but it is extremely important that you do this in order to keep mucus from collecting in your lungs and possibly causing pneumonia. This is Stephanie and she'll be here with you. You need anything, you feel anything, tell her ." He pointed at the smiling nurse.
"When can I start eating and drinking again?" The thought of not able to eat or drink for a while, had already made me feel like I was starving.
"Once the breathing and stomach tubes have been removed and your condition has stabilized, you may start liquids to drink. Your diet may be gradually advanced to more solid foods as you tolerate them."
Seriously! Now, this is bad.
"And, Alice.Your immunosuppression i.e., anti-rejection medications will be closely monitored to make sure you are receiving the optimum dose and the best combination of medications. Nurses, respiratory therapists, and physical therapists will work with you as you begin physical therapy and breathing exercises." It was better to talk to Phil when he wasn't on duty. He's been talking non-stop from last 15 minutes about things I hardly remember now. Yet, there was no stoping him. I kept on nodding like an obedient child.
"When will I be shifted out of ICU?" This was something I was interested in. Moving out to anyother room in the hospital seemed to be better than this ICU and recovery room now.
"When your doctor decides you are ready, you will be moved from the ICU to a private room on a postsurgical unit or transplant unit. Your recovery will continue to progress. Your activity will be gradually increased as you get out of bed and walk around for longer periods of time. Your diet will be advanced to solid foods as tolerated."
I am dying to reach to that phase.
"And discharge?" I bleakly said.
"That depends on your recovery. Nurses, pharmacists, dietitians, physical therapists, and other members of the transplant team will teach you how to take care of yourself once you are discharged from the hospital."
"How long will it take according to you?" I wanted to see Theo soon.
"I told you already. It could be only week or it could be two weeks. If your recovery is taking a little time, then it could take one month time as well. We will have to be sure if the body is not rejecting the new heart before we discharge you."
I looked behind Phil as he was talking to see who came in. It was Samantha. She came to see me. Thankgod! She did. Now I can ask her about Theo.
"How's this brave girl doing?" She asked Dr. Phil.
"She's doing fine till now. She's worried more about Theo than herself, though she's the one with weak heart now."
"You don't worry about Theo. He's doing fine. He'll probably get discharged within two weeks time. You take care of yourself. You have my son's heart now. You will have to be careful. Just tell me if you need anything."
"You are asking it's more than enough I need. But there's one thing I need." I looked down as I spoke.
"Yes, tell me." She came closer.
"I need to see Theo once, for now." Helplessly, she looked at Dr. Phil.
"Okay, okay. Tonight, once he sleeps we'll take you there. Till then you can call or text him to inform that you've reached California."
"By the way, who got those flowers?" I pointed at the vase and asked.
"Mrs. Bentley did." Phil answered to my question.
"Thankyou! I loved them." I gave her a big smile. She wasn't that stone-hearted as I had thought.
