I Love You Because I Have To {UNDER EXTREME EDITING}

Chapter 1

Hello my chubby wubby cookies

    The sun shone in my face. I groaned and turned over. I felt my back press into something warm, something all too familiar. I sat up abruptly and looked down at John. I hated him with all my being. I wanted to slap him. I just wanted to slap him awake, grab the lamp off of the nightstand and hit him with it over and over until he stopped moving, and then run far away. I'd tried to run too many times and it had never worked in my favor. I sighed deeply and stood to go look into the bathroom mirror; to see what damage I had done to me. I walked to the the bathroom and turned on the light.

   I gasped at the sight. My eye was blackened and my lips were split and there was dry blood all over them and my chin. My black hair was messy and thrown all over the place. My cheeks were covered with scratches. I sucked in a breath and got a rag. I wet the rag and slowly started to clean my face. It hurt like hell. I winced, but kept cleaning. I couldn't stop now. I finished cleaning my face so that all the blood was off and started drying my face with my towel. As soon as I had finished that, I started applying makeup to cover the black eye and my cuts. I turned to go back into the room. I looked at the bag I had left by the front door, when I'd tried to escape last night. I walked over to it and dug out some clothes to wear. I hurriedly put them on and sat on the couch. I walked over to the door and picked up my bag. A voice from behind me startled me.

    "Where are you going, Jason?" I cursed slightly under my breath and turned in the direction the voice was coming from. "I said, Where are you going, Jason."

   "No where." I muttered.

   "Good whore, now get in the kitchen and make me some breakfast." I hated when he called me a whore, I was his boyfriend God dammit! But really, I knew I was nothing but his whore, his latest conquest. I knew I was a whore. That's all I was. All I would and could ever be to him. I walked into the kitchen and pulled out some eggs and some ham. I made eggs, ham and toast and served it to him.

    "You forgot my juice bitch!" He slapped me hard across my face. "Don't you ever forget my juice!" he threatened. I nodded and walked shakily to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. I grabbed a glass and poured the juice into it. I set it infront of him and watched as he noisily devoured his meal.

  "So..." I said wearily.

  "Just say what you want to say and get the fuck out of my face." He replied angrily. I gulped and shuddered. "Well, You said I could go see my family yesterday, for only a day."

  "Yeah, so what?" he asked angrily.

   "Well, I wanted to go today." He looked down at the table and slammed his fist down on it abruptly.

  "You know I can't let you go, Jason."

  "What?!?" I squawked.

   "You mean too much to me. I can't let you go, you aren't going."

   "But.. You promised." I whimpered.

    "Promises were made to be broken." he said and with that he took a final gulp of his orange juice and walked toward me. My head was spinning, I fell to the floor and started sobbing uncontrablly. "Don't cry Jason. You know I hate it when you cry." I didn't know what to do. I wanted to see my family, I was afraid, he was abusing me, and above all he told me not to cry. I couldn't help it, I sobbed harder.

   "I said not to cry!" He kicked me in my ribs. I heard a cracking sound followed by a wave of pain. I screamed out and rolled into the fetal position clutching my side. He reached for my shoulder and pulled me to him.

   "You know I don't like hurting you, why do you have to make me do these things to you?" I was afraid to answer him and just leaned into his chest, searching for comfort. Finding none I looked into his eyes and kissed him. I felt no love for him. I wanted him to let me go. I didn't know what else to do. I pushed him onto his back and he landed hard with a thud. I sat on top of him and started removing my shirt. I leaned down and kissed him again.

    "Can I please go home, John? Please?!?" I begged. He sighed.

     "You can go tomorrow, as long as you satisfy my every need today,and right now I want you." He leaned up and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. Several articles of clothes later, he pushed me over so that he was on top of me. "Beg me to fuck you Jason." He smirked. I groaned loudly trying to make it sound convincing.

   "Fuck me John, Please fuck your dirty little whore!" He smiled and bit my ear before telling me to get on my knees. I had no choice, so I did as he asked. He smiled and kissed my neck. He grabbed the lube and lubed me. I got on all fours after his command. He shoved himself into me and after each thrust, he said he loved me. I winced. I used to fall for his lies so easily, not anymore. I tried to moan to make this convincing so he would really let me go tomorrow. But all that came out was a scream. I turned it into a scream of pleasure and lowered my face to the floor, crying softly from the pain.                                      

                                                            ***

   I leaned my head back onto the window of the car. I was soo happy he was finally letting me go. I smiled softly and looked at the cab driver. He was looking intently on the road. I sighed happily as I saw the familiar grey of my old house. I paid the man and ran out of the cab. I rang the doorbell and smiled happily expecting my mother to answer. My smile quickly faded when instead, I saw my brother. Let me tell you a little about my brother.

    He is 5'7" with pretty crystal blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. He is actually really hot, I'd love to be around him, If he wasn't such a homophobic  asshole. 

   "Hello fairy, what are you doing back here? I thought mom and I told your cock sucking ass to leave?"

  "Bro, I don't want any problems. I just wanted to visit my family for a little while." I should've known he wasn't going to accept that. I tried to come in and he pushed me back onto the hard concrete. I kept trying to get in and he kept knocking me down. I thought this would go on forever until I heard mom say,

    "ENOUGH! Let your brother in!" I looked toward mom thankfully and ran inside and hugged her.

   "My little dick lover" she cooed. I winced. I hated them joking me like this. I smiled at her humiliated, not just because of her question, but because it was true. We spent the rest of the evening talking about boring things. After dinner my mother told me I could sleep in my old room.

 I laid down in my old bed and closed my door. It was dark in my old room, and eerily silent. My window was open and the cold December wind was blowing inside. I went to close my window and stopped as I noticed a hot boy undressing in front of his window. I caught myself ogling him.

He was pulling off his shirt and my eyes drifted to his lean abs. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his body. Who undressed in front of a window anyways! He must have been expecting to give a show right?

He slowly slid his hands down his body and pulled his jeans off, leaving him only in his black boxer-briefs. I trailed my eyes down to what he was barely containing in said boxer-briefs and swallowed hard at the sight. I slowly trailed my eyes back up his body and froze when I looked at his face.

 His startling emerald eyes met mine and I fell to the floor. I held my knees to my chest hoping he was gone. A few minutes later, after I had finally convinced myself he was gone, I slowly stood up and looked out the window. His room was dark. My heart stopped pounding. I saw a head pop out from his window, and I froze as I caught sight of him starting intently at me. My heart skipped a beat.

   "Hey there, cutie." He smirked at me. I took a breath and held it. I couldn't move. But, surprisingly, I found the strength to speak.

   "S-sorry..." He smiled at me and told me it was ok. I smiled back nervously and told him I was going to bed.

   "Night, cutie. Don't go peeping on any other boys, except me." He smiled back and let out a loud laugh. I frowned slightly and closed the window and laid into my old bed. I breathed in the old familiar smells and fell asleep.