Get it Together, Sam (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 12

The next day at school, Jennifer meets me at my locker. I can tell there's something on her mind so I ask her about it. She keeps brushing it off like I don't already know that there's something wrong. I ask her one last time and when she refuses to tell me I just drop the whole subject and things go silent between us. Finally she says what's on her mind.

"You and Megan, last night."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"I know what you did." She says, she looks quite angry.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was almost asleep then I heard whispers and I decided to pretend I was asleep to see what was happening."

"Did you hear everything?"

"Yeah, do you still love Megan?"

"I think so. I really think so." I say looking down at my hands, playing with them. 

"You guys made out last night, didn't you? In the bathroom?" She asks me in whispers, her eyes wide. 

"Yeah, we just had to get all of it out and that's it." I say, definitely regretting my actions.

"I won't tell Alicia, I'll leave that up to you." Jennifer says, walking away fast towards class.

I can tell she's angry and Jennifer's never angry at me. I guess this time I really screwed up. She's right though, it's wrong what I did. I knew it was wrong when I did it but I just couldn't help it. Megan was too irresistible. Her lips, her body, her everything. I need to stop this and just forget about it. I'm not going to tell Alicia now, we're so good right now. I don't want to mess it all up because of one, well two, silly kisses. No, Sam, you have got to tell her. I don't know, I'll do something.

*

After school, I decide it would be good to ask Alicia out on a date in hopes to rekindle the flames of love I have for her. It's not that they've burnt out, it's just that they're burning lower than usual. The whole Megan incident definitely made a mark on me. I call Alicia on my cellphone and she picks up right away.

"Hey, beautiful!" Alicia says happily.

"Hey, sexy." I say, not as happily and more guilty.

"What's up?"

"I was thinking that maybe we should go out on a date Friday night."

"I'm busy Friday night."

"Okay, Saturday night."

"I'm also busy Saturday." She says, nervously.

"Doing what?" I say, kind of annoyed when I know I shouldn't be considering what I just did the other day.

"It's just a thing. No big deal."

"Okay," I say, suspicious of her. "When are you free?"

"Wednesday."

"Wednesday it is then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye. I love you."

"I love you too."

Now I can't help but think that Alicia may be doing something behind my back as well. I shouldn't be mad, I did a bad thing but could it be that this relationship is finally falling apart? Three months in and everything seems to be going wrong already. Maybe Alicia knows and it's all my fault. I need to tell her and I need to tell her soon. Maybe not during the date, but after. That's okay, right? Yeah, definitely.

*

Alicia

I hang up the phone and I lay my head on the wall behind me. I feel bad for not telling Sam what I'm doing but I don't know if I should tell her yet. I just don't want her to think that I'm choosing York University over her. Then again, if I don't tell her then she'll just think I'm avoiding her because I'm gone all the time. On Wednesday, I'll tell her.

This whole preparation process for auditions is getting really stressful. I'm told by my instructor that I'm doing really well but whenever I picture my audition with the scouts, they look unimpressed. I mean I haven't had the audition yet but it just gets really discouraging and I'm having second thoughts about continuing. Then there's also Sam I have to worry about. I don't want to leave her here while I go off to Toronto, if I go off to Toronto. I can't just ask Sam to come with me; I know her life is here. She's going to become a nurse, get a job and whatever. I don't want her to change her whole plan because of me. I'll just deal with it when it's time to tell her.

I grab my keys and walk out of my room. I make my way down to the front door when my dad asks me where I'm going. I tell him I'm going off to dance practice and he goes off into another lecture about me going to a good university and pursuing something else other than dance. His lecture is going to make me late again, so like usual I don't argue with him and just agree. I don't want to become a doctor, I don't want to become a lawyer or anything else that my dad wants me to be. I want to be a dancer. It's what I love to do. My mom is supportive of the idea; she's always been supportive of my ideas. My dad on the other hand, he never supported me in anything. It was actually quite a surprise he was supportive of me and Sam. I just can't handle another one of his lectures about going off to university and taking the same career path as everybody else. It's just not me.

The only place, other than Sam's arms, that I feel at home is at the dance studio. It's the one place I can totally feel like myself. I just lose myself in the movements and the art of it all. It's crazy how I get so into it. The exact feeling that I get when I dance is the exact reason why I want to make it my career. I just love it and if I'm given the chance to continue with it, why wouldn't I take it? My dad just doesn't understand that. He sees only one way, one path. He thinks that I have to take the traditional path that he took. I mean I guess I understand why. My dad didn't have anything when he was younger. His family was quite poor and he had to work so hard to get to where we are now. He went to school and paid for tuition with multiple jobs, odd or not. He graduated, became successful and excelled in his work. Now he makes tons of money, I don't even know what he does but he makes tons. Now, he thinks that dance doesn't require the same amount of effort. He thinks that this is just some hobby. Sometimes I think I've stopped caring about what he thinks a long time ago but I still see myself wondering what he would do in my position.

"Alicia, you decided to show up after all!" My dance instructor, Matt, shouted to the class.

"Sorry," I say, embarrassed. "Family stuff happened."

"Well... what are you waiting for?"

"Sorry."

And I dance.