Chapter 18 - TEARS IN MY EYES

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katherine

Did he really say that? That i am dead. That i won't see my child grow up. That i won't spend eternity with my true love. I felt my heart beat an alien pace. My skin felt as if it was burning up. This could not be right. But he was completely and utterly right. Even the version of Elijah that stood in front of me. He was tired. Unfulfilled. Not the man i truly loved. I missed that man. So much. But that man is in a place, a time that is too dangerous for me.

How did i know this time wasn't any different?

"No...no" my voice came out emotional. I stared at innocent Nikole in my arms. No. No. No. Elijah did not say a word. The silence was enough of an answer for me. Everything he was saying was the truth. I felt tears jump from my eyes. When ever i thought my tears would stop, i would always be proved wrong. Always. I was tired of tears. I was tired of this. All of it. I was completely and utterly...done! Done with the danger and the pain and the tears and love and the LOVE. 

The love i felt for my daughter was endless.

I had an idea.

Just like when i pushed Nikole's basket into the lake to set her free from me, this time would not be different.

I looked at Elijah with a face full of liquid anguish. Pain. Pain. My face it all: i had lost all my emotion except for one: Love. The love for my daughter. That is all that matters. And Elijah completely understood. He had not understood for centuries...until now. 

"I don't think i can do this" Elijah told me.

I didn't not bloody care!

klaus

As we gathered around the cemetery in South East London. The Slave Cemetery to be specific. We watched the black witch gather her candles and set up in the centre of the cemetery. There was hardly any tombstones because the slaves could hardly afford a plot. So how the hell would they get tombstones? My views on slavery was...that the slaves had beautiful and very healthy blood. My favorite kind to be honest. Ha ha. 

Oh, Niklaus...how can you joke at such a time, said the weird sane voice in my head. The other voices in my head just stared at the sane voice and it just ran away. It could not cut it in the real world.

The witch stood. She had prepared her triangle. The spell should start soon. I hoped. The mist in the air was not comforting. The feel of mist on my skin made me think only one thing: anything could happen. But i had learnt that nothing ever went to plan...a long time. 

This day would not be any different.

The witch turned to us, but she was not looking at us. She was trying to find the Moon in through the mist. God, what a waste of time. 

I was wrong. Right in front of us and in front of the witch, a green vertical splotch opened up. The portal. Hm, looks like the witch was doing something right. I thought it'd take way more effort. As the green portal opened up for us, i heard an exclaim from the witch.

"Good Heavens! I had not started that!" 

Great. More confusion that we had to figure out. A womanly figure sleeked through the portal. It was Katerina Petrova. The bloody doppelganger. Ex-doppelganger, i meant. And the mother of my daughter, of course. 

I had still not seen her. 

Still.

katherine

My prayers had done nothing for me, i realized. As i had stepped out of the portal, i saw the two people i did not want to see. Elijah and Niklaus. No, no, Katherine, it is better. Now you can actually be prepared for what you're gonna do.

Niklaus smirked at me. Then he realized i had no baby in my arms. No child hanging on to me. I was completely alone. Completely. Right?

Elijah beamed with relief.

Too bad, all my face said was: get the hell out of my way. I guess that is exactly how i felt. Defensive. Angry. OK: just angry.

"Where is...the child?" Niklaus asked me like Nikole was a package or letter to be delivered directly to him. Like he owned her. But even Elijah seemed interested in the matter.

"Yes, love, where is Nikole?" i could not be bothered to wonder if Elijah really cared at all. I didn't care about any of them in that moment, that's for sure.

Rebekah joined her brothers, completely a weird trio. Elijah belonged there. He would...always belong there.

No matter what.

"It's not any of you're business!" i was being extremely volatile...to all of them.

Elijah looked confused, slightly bemused. Niklaus is face was beginning to tense. He looked like the Devil in a human's skin. Oh wait that was just normal then.

"But i love you.." Elijah told me, but i was not hearing any of it. I could already feel Niklaus's anger shoot up in the atmosphere. The mist did not hide any of his tangible darkness. The darkness that wanted to vanquish. But he was too strong. I knew that.

I did the only thing that felt right. My blood was boiling that night.

I stared at all of them and shouted, "I don't love ANY OF YOU!!!" I screamed into the night!

klaus

"I don't love ANY OF YOU!!!" the doppelganger screamed. Like a madwomen. Where the hell was my child? I had lost my temper immediately after she shouted at us.

How dare that Bit-

The force of the stake that plunged into my chest pushed me to the ground of the cemetery for slaves. 

That Bulgarian bitch had just SHOT ME!

katherine

I heard snarl of fangs and the sound of a body hit the ground. I had hit something. Something good. But the last glimpse i saw was of Elijah's confused, hurt and betrayed eyes.

I swished around and ran back into the misty centre of the cemetery. I felt crossbow feel as light as a feather. Thank you vampirism! But i hit a snag quickly. A snag called Mariah. As i bashed into her, she noticed...something. Something no one had.

The tears in my eyes. The tears that i felt for hurting Elijah so. Hurting him so!

She looked at me and touched my shoulder.

Mariah Bennett, thank you!

I watched with excitement as Mariah's eyes turned white cold. She must've been channeling the weather because next thing i knew the mist had engulfed Niklaus, Elijah and their sister. 

She had given me a head start.

I kissed her cheek as i escaped into the mist and out of Elijah's life.

He just needed to let me go.

Let me go.

I felt tears dribble down my face like endless waterfalls. So endless. Why did it feel like the Gods hated to have me and Elijah together?

Why did it always feel like i was running from the one person i truly loved?

Why did it feel like i would never...ever.....stop running?!?

.....

....

...

..

.

A voice inside my head whispered..........you will never stop.


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