CHAPTER ONE 2.0

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What comes to mind when you think of hell? What version do you picture when the home of all things evil start to form? Is it the fire and brimstones from your parents bible? Is it packed to overflowing with the souls of the damned? Then my main man Satan is drinking blood from his chalice as he sits on his throne of skulls.
That's what the bible promises. That you will burn, that you will suffer. That once you're in there it's forever. No getting out, no making amends. God has turned his back on you and the Father of Lies have you now. All bad people go to hell. All fallen angels become twisted monsters also known as demons. Hell is their home, it is their domain.

Mother was always warning her children to be good people. The woman barely went to church, but she was a fan of naming sins. The greedy burn, the lazy burn, the prideful, the lustful, the envious all burn. Wrath is a fire within itself and it will burn you from the inside out. Then there is my personal favorite.

The gluttonous beast who eats the last piece of cake your mother been eyeing all evening. For that reason alone Amber, Yael, and I reserved a special place in the fiery pits of eternal damnation. Back then I pictured a sign over hell's door. The big bold words would read: All Humans Welcome.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I was dragged into the hole in the ground. Maybe I was looking for something truly terrifying. I wanted to see the hell hounds, show me the twisted souls, bring on the monsters damn it. That's what the videos game and the movies all promised me.

Or maybe it was more poetic in a Dante's Inferno fashion. Where is my guild to take me through the nine levels of hell? Where is the frozen pit Satan and the betrayers stay? Et Tu, Brute.

Truthfully hell was never a concept I quite grasp. If everything fun is a sin and all sinners go to hell shouldn't hell be more . . . fun? If Satan is the opposer of God then why punish the souls that God have demanded unworthy of heaven. To be frank, if all of the goody-two-shoes went to heaven it was going to be one boring ass place.

I want to be where the drugs were. Let me work out my aggregations with some murderers. Let me fuck myself silly with the lustful. I want to eat until I pop, to hoard my riches and be proud that I have the biggest dick in town. There was an enteral party happening and you only needed to die to get in.

We mustn't forget the Greek take on hell. No one ever said the Christians had it right. Maybe the ancient Greeks were correct about the afterlife. Perhaps instead of Satan it was Hades watching over the souls of the forgotten. Cerberus guards the gates as Charon row, row, rows his boat gently down the River Styx taking us all into the Underworld.

Thinking about heaven, hell, angels, demons, God, and Satan always brings to mind the group I fell into when I held my humanity. Where did the atheists, the non-believer go? If there is no heaven and no hell what happened to our souls? If there is no God how could there be a devil to rise against him?

Atheists, did those even exist anymore? If demons were pouring from an old door then there was a hell. If demons were real and magic was real is it so hard to believe that angels and God are real. Could a human actually be so blind and naive to deny the world he lives in?

Two hundred years ago if someone told you they were attacked by demons they would be strapped into a jacket that made them hug themselves and placed in a padded cell. Now . . . now if someone tells you they were attacked by demons you're either the kind of person that going to run to the place of attack or get the hell away from it.

A lot can change in ten years. We have been living in this new world for the last two hundred. I have been a demon for so long it was hard to remember what being human was like. Still I knew back then if someone told me I was going to hell I would have laughed and agreed with them. Told them I would save them a seat on the boat.

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