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9 - La Famiglia

"Cara, cara figlia mia, benvenuta." (Cara, my darling child, welcome)

"Ciao, nonna." I was enveloped in my grandmother's warm embrace that, as always, brought me a sense of peace, family and home. Although she's three inches shorter than me I am almost suffocated as she wraps me tightly in her arms and tucks my head onto her ample bosom, holding it firmly as she kisses my hair a number of times. From years of experience I know to just hold my breath until she finally lets me move and I can breathe again.

I kiss her on both cheeks then step back.

"Cos'è successo?"

She's looking at me like I've grown a second head or something. "What do you mean? Nothing's happened."

"You look different, cara mia. Something is changed."

"I've changed my hair," I reply, touching a hand to the intricate braid my thick dark hair is in instead of its usual ponytail or messy bun.

She doesn't look entirely happy with that explanation but says nothing more, bustling back to the kitchen table where I can see she's just finished making cannoli. She hands me one without having to ask, knowing I love nothing more than her freshly baked pastry. The filling is made from ricotta and pistachio, my grandfather's favourite, and I close my eyes in ecstasy as the flavours explode in my mouth.

"Mm, cosi buono, nonna. You make the best cannoli in the entire world."

"Have you tasted every cannolo in the world, child?" We have this same discussion every time I visit and usually I tell her that I don't need to do that to know that hers is the best.

Today, however, I am feeling particularly sentimental and instead I say, "You and nonno are my world, nonna," which surprises me as well as her. She turns to look at me then comes to place her hands on either side of my face as she stares into my eyes.

"Ah, ho capito," she murmurs enigmatically but when I ask her what she understands she simply smiles at me and says nothing. Before I can ask her again the door opens and my grandfather comes in with my brother Antonio right behind him.

"Cara, mia principessa!" I smile and greet my nonno, once again enveloped in a warm hug. He has called me his princess since I was a small girl and it never fails to make me feel loved and cherished.

"Ciao Cara," my brother greets me and I hug him too. I have to tiptoe to kiss them both – something that has always struck me as monumentally unfair is that the men in my family inherit height and curls, while the women are short with straight hair. And some people think God is a woman. Pffft. A female divine being would not have stuffed that one up.

"How's Maria doing, Tony?" My sister-in-law is expecting their third child in a week or two.

"She's tired but good. You should come visit."

"I will."

"Cara, mia bella, how is your singing and teaching ai bambini?" As well as being in the band with Jake and the guys, I teach singing and guitar to children in my neighbourhood, which helps bring in extra cash to pay the rent.

"It's good nonno, they're terrific kids."

"You should be getting married and having bambini of your own Cara." My grandmother likes to tell me this every time she sees me, but for some reason this time I get a little pang when I hear it.

"I'll get around to it one of these days nonna." I see Tony looking at me and I roll my eyes, causing us both to smile.

Soon nonna makes coffee and we all sit at the table enjoying a cup with more of her delicious pastries. Below us is the jewellery shop my grandparents own, which is now run by my brother Marco since nonno retired. Both of my grandparents are in their eighties, still as vital and sprightly as ever, involved in their community and extended family. My father is the second youngest of eight children; I've almost lost count of the number of cousins I have. Family gatherings are a noisy, rambunctious affair with mounds of food, wine, music and laughter. It's both wonderful and a nightmare at the same time.