Photograph

70 - Forever Isn't Long Enough

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to write my vows."

"Cara! The ceremony starts in half an hour!"

"I know, I know."

"Haven't you thought of anything to say before now?"

"Hello, have we met? Thinking of things to say is not an issue; it's more I'm afraid once I get started we'll be here for an entire week."

Smiling through her groan, Maria patted my shoulder in empathy. She looked beautiful in her lavender gown with her dark curly hair swept up and decorated with delicate cream-coloured rosebuds. The dainty amethyst earrings I had given her sparkled as they caught the sunlight and I smiled back before returning to my task.

Which words to say? From all the thousands – no, millions – of things I could say to Ben, which few do I pick as we stand together before God and our friends and families? Oh, hell!

Catching sight of my reflection in the ornate gilded mirror on the wall next to me, I paused to admire the hairdresser's work. My thick locks were caught at the back in a gentle up-do while loose tresses at my ears had been softly curled to frame my face and I had put disposable contact lenses in. Not that I minded wearing my glasses, even for wedding photos, but they tended to fog up when I was teary and I thought the chances of me and tears were pretty high today. I hadn't yet put on my veil, but lifted my hand to the necklace and earrings of Akoya pearls Ben had given me as a wedding gift, round cream pearls with lustre so high they were almost reflective. He would be wearing the gift I had given him, cufflinks in gold-plated black onyx surrounded by diamonds and inscribed with the words Stage Left and Stage Right.

"So you don't forget," I'd told him when he opened the box and laughed.

"I adore your kookiness," he'd said, pulling me close to weaken my knees with a tender kiss. "Don't ever change."

"I don't think that's possible," I'd smiled in reply, touching my fingertips to his lips before kissing him again.

Concentrate, Cara! I brought myself back to the moment and jotted down a couple of thoughts, only to be interrupted by my phone vibrating with a text message.

Ben: I can't wait to make you my wife. Do NOT be late!

Chuckling, I sent a reply I knew would make him smile.

Cara: Oh, is that today?

His reply was predictable but made me laugh nevertheless.

Ben: Teasing wench!

Sending a string of heart emoticons, I looked up as the door opened and Jessica came in. Waiting until I finished, she drew breath for an update.

"The security guys are all in place and so far there's no sign anyone's caught wind of our presence. Benedict has arrived at the church and is mingling with the guests; we'll get them ushered in around..." she consulted her watch, "five minutes from now. The second photographer is downstairs talking to your brother."

A lump the size of a golf ball appeared in my throat at the mention of Tony; I'd asked him to give me away but couldn't help thinking how much I wished nonno were here to walk me down the aisle. "Are you okay?" Maria asked quietly, coming to my side with tissues as she sensed my distress. I nodded, taking a deep breath and telling myself nonno would be thrilled to see Tony perform this task.

"We're scheduled to leave in ten minutes," Jessica continued. "Are you ready Cara?"

I had only to put on my veil and take the bouquet. "Yes."