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27 - Humpty Dumpty

Once again I found myself pacing back and forth outside Ben's building, but this time I had the cover of darkness and was pretty sure he wouldn't see me if he happened to be looking out his window. That same window glowed with light, so I knew he was still up although it was almost eleven.

Well, come on, are you going up there or not? Make up your mind Cara; either get up there now and find out what's wrong or go home and have a sleepless night worrying. Crap - couldn't there be a third choice, like wake up and find this is all a bad dream? Yes, I like the sound of that one, let's go with that.

If only it were that easy.

Isn't there a saying that nothing worthwhile is easy? What little ray of sunshine thought that one up, seriously? I hope they ended up in a straightjacket having a frontal lobotomy like McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

"Maledizione!" I slapped my hands against my thighs, turned and headed into the building and up the stairs. Once I got to Ben's flat I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, annoyed when I realized I was holding the breath I had taken, so let it out in a noisy whoosh just as the door was opened.

He looked good; form-fitting jeans, snug tee, mussed hair and a half-drunk glass of whiskey in his hand. In other words, a force ten slug right in the ovaries. Give me a break.

"Hi." Deep voice too. So not fair.

"H-hi," was my articulate reply.

"I didn't realize you were coming over...Tom's here."

"I'll...I'll come back another time." I'd barely turned to head back down the stairs when his hand wrapped gently around my arm, his thumb rubbing circles over my wrist that caused a shiver or two.

"Cara, don't go, please." I paused, which I knew even as I did it, was my undoing. "Come in." As he said it his hand slid down to mine, tugging me gently in to his flat. I could have resisted if I'd wanted to. Really.

He led me to the lounge room where Tom rose to his feet when he saw me. "Hello Cara."

"Hi Tom." I wasn't sure what to do next, so stood there quietly. No, this isn't awkward at all.

I looked at Ben, who looked back at me.

"Well, I have to be going," Tom announced briskly, downing the remainder of his drink and placing the glass on the coffee table. He took my spare hand and kissed it, saying, "Lovely to see you again." Slapping Ben on the shoulder, he added, "I can see myself out," and was gone before I could even begin to apologise for interrupting their evening.

Now what?

I looked at Ben again. He still had hold of my hand and used it now to pull me closer, kissing my forehead. "I'm so sorry about this morning."

I let out a small sigh, moving my hands to his chest as his arms wrapped around me. "What was that exactly?"

"That was me being jealous and insecure and a bit of a prat."

Well, I can't argue with that. "Jealous of what? I told you Jake's not coming to Dublin."

He grimaced, his fingers tucking a stray hair behind my ear and sending tingles everywhere. "I know, it was just...when you said you wanted him there and I thought he might try to make a move on you again."

I stepped back, removing his arms from around me and looking at his face. He frowned at my retreat. "Is that all?" I asked, suddenly even more afraid of what this meant.

His frown deepened and he tried to touch me, but again I stepped back. "What do you mean? Isn't that enough?"

"I mean were you worried he would try it on or were you worried he would succeed?"