Photograph

52 - Big Night Out

The task of finding a dress to wear to the Brits had been at first excruciatingly frustrating and then, in the end, incredibly easy. I'd searched for hours online for something simple and classy yet glamorous enough to not look like Beyoncé's poor cousin. Ben had come to my rescue when I'd mentioned my dilemma, giving me the name of his stylist who he said had dressed him for many red carpet events, and so Toby had come into my life. I liked him the minute I met him, which was handy, as I had to be comfortable enough to stand before him in my underwear while he took measurements. I explained that I was rather good at tripping over my own feet and therefore dangerous if left in charge of really high heels – at which he'd snickered with laughter – and that I didn't want any plunging necklines. I didn't mind showing off 'the girls' a little, but didn't want to worry about them popping out all together in public, a la Janet Jackson.

"I hear you, sweetie, no wardrobe malfunctions. Now, with your hair and skin tone...hmm... I'm thinking soft and flowing..." He studied me intently then wandered around the room full of clothes that had taken my breath away when I'd first seen it, explaining that if he didn't have anything right on hand, we could look up collections online and have something delivered. Seconds later he came back with a dress that made me gasp. "I've got this Ellie Saab that wasn't right for Anne Hathaway the other day – what do you think?"

"I love it, can I try it on?"

"Honey, that's what we're here for." He helped me into it and zipped me up, smoothing the soft chiffon over my hips and playing with the folds to make them hang correctly. He wandered off again and came back with a pair of heels that matched perfectly but weren't so high that I'd be a risk to mankind and myself.

"Oh my God." And just like that, I'd found my dress.

Ben's reaction when he saw me in it was worth my original angst. "Darling, you...oh fuck..." His eyes swept me from head to toe as his hand ran through his hair. "You are so beautiful." An arm went around my waist, his hand splaying across my back as he pulled me carefully closer. "Am I allowed to kiss you or will it ruin makeup?"

I smiled. "Say hello to a little innovation called kissable lipstick Cumbers."

"Bless the woman who invented it," he murmured before bringing his lips to mine in a thoroughly sinful kiss that robbed my body of breath and cranked the temperature of the room up five degrees. When he finally let me go I had to cling on to his jacket so I didn't fall. "I've changed my mind about sharing you with the world," I could barely hear his soft words as he nuzzled my neck and shoulders, "I want to keep you here where all those other men can't see how gorgeous you are and try to steal you away from me."

If I'd still been nervous I would probably have grabbed his hand right there and then and hauled him into the bedroom, but ever since the comment he'd made earlier in the day, I had been in a strange and unfamiliar state of Zen. I was calm, collected and excited about singing tonight. It was weird, and if I hadn't been so Zen-like, I'd have been worried about how Zen-like I was. Wait, did that sentence even make sense? You know what? I don't care, that's how Zen I am. Ha! I promise you no alcohol or recreational drugs were involved in the creation of this Zen condition.

I murmured something or other in reply to his sweet remarks as he helped me on with my coat then collected my handbag and took Ben's hand as I locked my door and we headed down the path towards the waiting paparazzi. Thankfully, Ben had arranged a car and driver for this evening, so after posing for a few photos and ignoring shouted questions, we climbed in and were swept off to North Greenwich. Plenty more photographers waited at the venue, of course, the flashes almost blinding as we made our way along the red carpet. I was asked to sign CDs and take selfies with fans as well as short TV interviews. For each of those Ben stood patiently in the background, chatting with anyone who came along, then clasped my hand firmly again when I rejoined him. It made me smile to think we'd be doing this in reverse at the Oscars in a couple of weeks' time.