Fix Me Alpha

Prologue

Prologue

I crouch down in the dark closet, covering my ears with my hands and closing my eyes as tight as I can, as if that would ever keep me safe from the world outside the door. I  feel the vibrations of the banging on the closet door. Tears slowly streak down my red face as I am  huddled in the corner. I never knew exactly why I was crying, it just felt right.  From beyond my tightly covered ears I can still hear father,

 "Emily! Get out here now! You know there's no reason to run, love. This is how we show our affection." He reasoned.

Taking slow hesitant steps to the door I realise of course daddy won't hurt me, he loves me. Reaching up I turn the lock with a sounding click. The banging immediately stops. I take a quick step back,  watching the door handle as it slowly turned to allow the door to swing open. There he stood, squinted eyes, head tilted to the side, and a soft smirk covering his face; features that nightmares are made of.

 "Mommy says I'm a big girl now, and big girls can wash themselves." I speak softly trying not to make him angry at me. 

Me and mommy talk lots about this. I wash myself, I'm a big girl. I shower now. I even wash my own hair! But not when I'm here... daddy's different. Daddy loves me.

 "Don't be silly. We both need to take a shower. Come on, pumpkin. We'll miss the movie if we don't get ready now."

Oh yeah! The movie! We have to hurry or I won't get my popcorn! Daddy offers me his hand and I grab it tightly, we can't miss the movie!  He tugs my hand and leads me to his bathroom, it's big! I don't hesitate anymore, me and Daddy always do this. He says it's normal to express love this way. I only get to see Daddy for a month every year. I live too far away so when it's summer time I travel to see him! I've done this since I was four, I'm six now.  Nothing is wrong with this, this is how we show we love each other, just like daddy says.

''I love you daddy.'' Emily said looking up.

''Love you too, dodo bird. Now hands up.''

With that there was no more talking. I throw my hands in the air and my butterfly shirt follows all the way up my arms and over my head. I step out of my own bottoms and fling my legs over the tub into the shower followed close by daddy. He grabs the cloth and lathers it with soap. He spreads his arms telling me to come closer. I step forward and start with what I always do. Allowing him to wash me and then washing him, the way he said.

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If only I had told my mother everything, things would have changed.  I would have been protected. I closed my eyes, stepping under the shower head, wondering why tears fell from my eyes, not understanding a thing.