next door » joshler [book #1]

forty three » what if i just killed them off and ended it

tyler is curled up on the floor. he's sobbing. a smashed mug lies beside him in a pool of spilled tea.

"josh?" he whispers as the other boy approaches. "i'm sorry." watery, bloodshot eyes open. "i'm so, so, so sorry."

a laugh burbles up out of josh's lips and then he can't stop- he doubles over, even falls on the floor, but he can't stop laughing. his face turns red and he starts gasping for breath. "seriously?"

hurt, tyler looks at him with a pushed-out, quivering lower lip. "y-yeah..."

josh pushes his hair back and laughs again. "do you realize what you just did?"

the other boy nods meekly, still in the fetal position. the puddle of tea creeps closer to his bare chest. "j-josh..."

"save it." exhaling, josh gets to his feet, looking around. he's lost his shirt too. whoops. "i'm gonna go for a walk, and maybe i won't have this overwhelming sense to strangle someone- you- when i come back." he nods at tyler, one eyebrow raised, and tyler's eyes go wide. he nods quickly. "alright. cool."

he grabs the first shirt he sees and pulls it on, not caring what it says. also not bothering to say goodbye to tyler, he walks out the door, closing it maybe a little too forcefully.

tyler doesn't get up. he keeps lying there, fixing his vision onto something level with him- a ball of dust and- whatever that is- lying under the couch. he can feel the tea reach him, cold and sickly sweet. still, he doesn't move. there's a draft seeping in from the open window, and he feels goosebumps prickle his flesh.

an hour later, josh comes home. he's nursing a coffee and has a new beanie pulled over his unruly curls. he takes one look at tyler, who hasn't moved a muscle, and nearly drops his coffee.

"tyler," he says, voice wavering dangerously, "you haven't moved."

the other boy makes a sound of confirmation.

"it's been two hours."

he makes another sound. 

"you should get up. unless you're glued to the floor, which at this point i probably wouldn't be surprised to find out."

josh kneels beside him. tyler stubbornly refuses to move, pressing his lips into a thin line and avoiding josh's gaze.

"fuck, kid, your skin is blue. get up, c'mon."

tyler attempts to shake his head and finds it impossible, since his cheek seems to be sort of stuck to the floor. maybe it's the tea.

with a sigh, josh grabs him and pulls him up, wrinkling his nose as tea drips down tyler's side. "gross. c'mon, let's get you in the bath."

he hoists tyler over his shoulder- fuck, josh is strong- and toddles off to the bathroom, gently setting the boy down in the bathtub. 

"you want me to take, um, take your pants off, or are you showering in them?"

in response, tyler starts to reach for the belt on his jeans, trying to unbuckle it with shaking fingers. josh sighs and helps him, finally tossing the jeans somewhere on the floor behind him. he stares at tyler's boxers and lets out a nervous laugh.

"it's sort of funny. i've fucked you before, you've fucked me- and now i'm hesitating to take your underwear off."

it doesn't sound very funny to either of them, but josh tries to smile anyway.

but it's really not funny at all.

//i hate fall out boy like u announce a tour with my favorite band and then dont even come close to me,,,, bitch, madison square garden is 2 hours away and no one wants to drive me there fuck you @ fob//