next door » joshler [book #1]

fifty seven » the end.

they spend the rest of the night- well, morning, really, just talking. eventually brendon has to go, and they're so caught up in each other that they don't notice he's gone.

"so that's it?" asks tyler, facing josh, both of them cross legged on the couch. "mitch is- 'over'?"

"he's going to be mighty pissed when he notices i've left," josh answers softly, sadly. "but i won't go back. that i promise you. no matter what, i won't."

tyler smiles. "and i won't go back to jenna."

"you said you would- in the letter."

at this, tyler's smile fades. "yes. but then i spent the rest of my time getting drunk and trying to find someone to fuck. it seems i never made my way to jenna- only to the local bar." he looks upset now, embarrassed.

"it's alright." josh leans in slightly, touches tyler's cheek gently. "you have an excuse. your boyfriend went psycho and ran away with his insane ex..."

tyler cracks a smile again. "i think both of us are to blame here. i was going crazy too."

that makes them fall into silence again. shame hangs in the air heavily, and josh seems at a loss for words. finally, he manages, "i don't know why that happened. i just know that it's all going to get better now."

tyler grabs his hand. "so, then, is this it? our happy ever after?"

"not yet, i'm afraid." josh tightens his grip on tyler's hand. "still have mitch to deal with. but i think brendon can help us with that."

"...but after that," tyler insists, "then-"

"then, yeah." josh can't contain the smile that splits his face now. "then we'll be happy. together."

"no more mitch," tyler grins.

josh agrees, "no more mitch."

then, he stills. pauses.

"you're not- you know. are you still doing coke?"

and to his massive, massive relief, tyler shakes his head. "no. it was hard as hell. but i did it."

"i'm proud." josh's eyes glisten, but he's not sad. he's happy. he's so, so fucking happy. "it took me forever to kick that habit. seeing you like that broke my heart. but i'm so glad you got over it. you could've died. it could've ruined your life."

"i know. i'm sorry, josh. i was an idiot." tyler stares at him seriously.

"no, you just had a lapse of judgement is all," josh reassures him. "you're okay."

suddenly, tyler just lets out a sob and buries himself against josh in a crushing hug. "i missed you," he mumbles into the fabric of josh's shirt. "i missed you so much. so much. you have no idea-"

josh grabs him back, feeling the tears slide down his cheeks too. "i missed you too. shh, shh, it's okay- i'm here now. i'm here."

"promise me-" tyler sniffles, leaning back to gaze at josh. "promise me you won't leave. ever."

"i promise," says josh, and this time, he knows that this will be a promise he will keep.