next door » joshler [book #1]

forty six » please dont hate me im smol

tyler wakes up delirious. his head spins and he staggers off to the bathroom to throw up. when he gets back, he realizes josh isn't there.

"fuck," he says aloud, looking for his phone. he's strangely cold and can't stop coughing.

once he finds his phone, he goes to call josh. he pauses for a moment.

hits call.

and waits.

usually, josh picks up no matter what.

"hello?"

tyler smiles at josh's voice. "baby, hi! where are you?"

"sorry," josh says, sounding terribly confused, "who is this?"

now tyler's confused himself. "it's tyler," he answers, biting his chapped lip.

"who?"

tyler freezes. "your boyfriend. tyler."

and for some reason, josh's voice is unbelievably cruel when he speaks again. "that tyler," he says in disgust, "no, i'm not going to talk to you. mitch tells me- you're bad news. you're a bad person. and i don't want to be around you anymore."

wait- mitch? mitch?

"what?" tyler asks in disbelief, holding tightly onto the phone. "josh, what the hell is going on?"

"i'm not going to talk to you," josh explains. "goodbye, tyler." and with that, he hangs up.

"no!" tyler screams, jabbing his finger at the phone. "josh, what the fuck!"

he collapses to the floor. what the hell is going on? josh is back with mitch, who must be telling him lies. the word brainwashing flies through tyler's head. no, no, this can't be possible. he feels tears run down his cheeks.

this can't be possible, he thinks again, knowing that it full well is.

-

"are you sure he's that bad? i can remember him being pretty nice. and he was my boyfriend, too, so..." josh looks thoughtful, questioning mitch, who scowls back.

"look, baby, you gotta trust me on this okay? tyler is a bad, bad person. he tried to rape you. he could've hurt my little kitten." mitch speaks that final sentence gently, and josh smiles a little at how mitch cares about him.

josh bites his lip and sits down on mitch's lap, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck. "okay, daddy," he says, voice muffled against mitch's shirt.

it's only been a day since he's been here, but he's fallen back into old habits. mitch offers him a couple of pills, and josh eagerly accepts, swallowing them like candy. the familiar feeling spreads through him and he giggles.

"you good, kitten?" mitch asks, his face serious. he strokes josh's hair and josh thinks about how tyler never did this- tyler never sat down and hugged him and talked to him. so mitch was right.

"yeah," josh answers dizzily. "'m good."

"tired?"

josh nods again, head drooping against mitch's chest.

silently, mitch gives him another pill, and as soon as josh takes it, he goes out like a light.

-

his knuckles are scraped and bleeding from punching the wall. anger roils in tyler's gut as he storms into the kitchen, looking for a bandage or a paper towel or something. it fucking hurts.

he finds a bandage and tapes up his hand, wincing as it pulls on the delicate skin. there's probably spots of blood on the wall, too, and he wets a paper towel to go and clean those off.

but still, he's furious. furious that he let himself pass out and let josh leave. let josh go with mitch.

tyler leans against the wall and starts crying again.

his chest heaving from the sobs, he stumbles to the bed, sitting down clumsily. "fuck," he mumbles, coughing. "j-josh..."

it's like that old saying. you never truly appreciate what you had until it's gone.