Innocence

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Addison was taken back, she didn't realize she had such an aura, "Alice, I'm so sorry I ever made you feel that way. You were one of my first friends. I love you so much. Don't forget everything we've been through."

It all rushed back to her.

"Alice, I stayed up until two in the morning trying to talk you out of doing something STUPID," She playfully hit her arm.

"You mean the thing I ended up trying to do anyways."

"Yeah, but you failed."

"I suck so much, I can't even kill myself," she tried to laugh.

"And you were there for me through the same shit. Two years clean!" She raised her wrist with a smile.

"God, I'm sorry Addison. I'm stupid."

"Yes, and I love you, you stupid little genius fucker you."

Alice stood up and walked back into the gymnasium with Addison by her side. With confirmation, it all seemed brighter. Until she saw Jeremy, it was like the one storm cloud that blocks out the light on the clearest of days. He tried to avoid her, but she approached him herself.

"Jeremy. You're a dick."

"Alice-"

"But, I don't care."

"What, really?"

"I don't care because I don't like you anymore," she had to lie to subdue the pain. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could convince herself. Luckily, Jeremy was more gullible.

"Wait, what?" Addison added turning around.

"Oh," He didn't know what to say, "Okay." Was that a tinge of disappointment? What a fuckboy.

"Well," Bella said coming up to her finally, "What happened in the bathroom?"

"Addison, we... we worked things out."

"Really?" She didn't believe it, but she wanted Alice to be happy.

"How'd that happen?"

"All thanks to Jeremy, actually."

"The kiss?"

"Actually, there's a lot I have to update you on." She gave her the run down.

"WHAT?!" She was loud, and she was angry, "I WANT TO KILL HIM!"

"NO! I told him I didn't care!" 

"But do you really?"

How could she ask such a rhetorical question, "Of course I do," Bella crossed her arms, "but sometimes being too cling hurts. I already got that far, and obviously, he didn't mean for it to happen this way. I'm not going to kill him for it, I mean sure. It was a dick move, but sometimes you just have to let it go to be happy. If i get hung up over every little thing I'm never going to go anywhere. If he ever gets his stuff together then maybe we can work things out. Until then, I'm going to have to focus on learning to love myself again. I have so many things to experience in life, and I won't get to a single one of them if I stand waiting at Jeremy's door. I don't want to cause drama, so I might as well get over it. It was probably the best moment of my life, but even then, I knew something was wrong. It wasn't right, and I accept it. It would only hurt me to keep doing this to myself. I can't keep doing it, I'm not strong enough. I'm thirteen. I should still be watching Winnie the Pooh-"

"Well..." Bella added.

"Okay, maybe not that far, but I do need to spend the rest of my life finding myself, not chasing after the horizon. It'll just keep pushing it farther and farther away. Always just out of reach. When I think i've gotten close, the world goes dark, you know?"

Bella nodded.

Alice wrapped her arms around her, "I love you so much!" A tear rolled down both cheeks and splashed in unison into one tiny splot on Alice's knee.

"So Keith?" Bella whispered jokingly.

"BELLA!"


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