The Boy With The Limp || TMR Fanfic || DISCONTINUED

Chapter 20; Found Out

Warning! Some parts of this chapter might be triggering so read at your own risk.
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    Hazel sat in the makeshift bathroom, crying on the floor. She had just experienced another panic attack and tried to distract herself with self harm. She couldn't help herself, once she picked up the blade she couldn't put it back down. She sat in the corner of the bathroom cradling her bloody arm. Even when the panic attack had stopped she found herself still cutting her arm. She found it as an escape from her terrible situation, her missing brother, her being trapped in the Maze and almost killed by Grievers, the fear of being stuck in the Glade forever, not being albe to leave. Even though Hazel loved the Gladers, it killed her to think that she'd be stuck in Glade forever.

    With a shaky breath, Hazel placed the bloody pen knife on the floor and picked up a rag to clean her wounds. Only then did she realise how a simple smile, could hide so much pain. But her friends never noticed, which was just the way she liked it. Because she'd would rather keep it all inside and let the pain destroy her than everyone else...

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    Hazel sat with her group of friends, laughing and trading stories by the bonfire late into the night. Newt sat next to Hazel with an arm around her affectionately, telling her jokes and making her laugh. Hazel pecked on his cheek, causing him to blush and everyone to laugh. Hazel laughed along with them as she leaned her body weight against Newt. From afar they look as though they've been friends for the longest time. But, if you look at her closely you could see that, every now a then she turns away from her group of friends.

    Her smile falters and she becomes another person for a few seconds; a sad person. A person who is broken and damaged by the world, and after a few depressing seconds, she goes back to the group. Smiling and joking around, she almost looks like she is actually happy. But if you looked at her closely, you could see how spurious her smile really is, and you could see all the pain behind that simple smile. No one had noticed how broken she really was, when all her feelings were hidden behind that smile.

    "I don't know about you guys, but I'm completely exhausted." said Newt, yawning.
    "Me too, I think I'm gonna turn in now," said Hazel, getting up. "Goodnight guys."
    As she walked away she could hear a chorus of "Good night's" coming from the boys. Hazel knew that Newt would probably come into the room an hour later, so she finally had some alone time. She collapsed onto the bathroom floor and broke down into tears. She slid the blade of the pen knife up and made three more cuts, hoping that it would stop the pain in her heart.

    "Oh Hazel, why do you continue doing this to yourself?" asked a voice in her head.
    "Get out of my shucking head!" screamed Hazel, covering her ears with her hands, dropping the blade onto the floor with a metallic clank.
    "Hazel, please I'm just trying to help." pleaded the voice.
Which caused Hazel to scream even louded and curl into a ball, crying.

    In an instant, Newt came running into the room.
    "Hazel! Where are you?!" shouted Newt, frantically looking around.
    He noticed that the bathroom's wooden doors were closed. He could hear muffled sobs coming from inside as he approached the door. He took a deep breath as he placed his hand on the handle of the door, and opened the bathroom door with ease. Newt's heart jumped into his mouth as he stepped into the bathroom. Hazel sat at the corner of the bathroom, huddled in a ball. Next to the door was a pen knife, stained with blood.

    But that wasn't the worst part, the worst past was Hazel's arms. There were roughly a dozen jagged cuts running across her arms, some of them old and some of them new. Newt stifled a sob as he took everything in, from the blood seeping out Hazel's cuts, to the bloody pen knife on the floor.
    "Oh Hazel." gasped Newt, covering his mouth in shock, tears running down his face.