I'm home again

Chapter 19

Kate's Pov-
It was all a blur. I knew I was in a hospital, but that was all I knew. Nothing about my condition. How I was. What happened. Nothing. I only hoped that Rick would be here soon. I want to see him. The excitement in his eyes. And to kiss him.

"This way Mr Castle!" I heard a doctef saying and as soon as I looked at the door. He stood there. Richard Castle. MY Richard Castle.

"Oh my gosh Kate! You're alive!" He came to me, and took my hand. He was never been so happy to have someone r something back in his life.

"What happened?" Was the only thing I asked. He told me everything, what happened that day. How shocked everyone was and how he felt. I apologized for it. He didn't take it. He said it wasn't my fault. This coma thing was te fault of another. Not mine.

The docter checked a few times my condition. Was it that bad? He even tooo Rick out the room. Probably to tell him how I was. I would listen, but they weren't around the corner. They where gone. "No! Please..." I said to myself. Almost crying. Luckily someone came in, not Rick. But a docter.

"Miss Beckett. Wr need to tell you about your condition. And what you can't and can do. This accident is involved for the rest of your life."

"WHAT!?" With me screaming, he told me how I was. What exactly happened. And how it happened. Why? We didn't know. He told me not to do much, and that I needed an helping hand at my side. For the first 2 years. I needed to stay home. Relaxing. No kids that I could carry. Not doing things with Rick. Can it be worser!! Yes. It can be worser....

Rick came back in, with an serious expression on his face. He had decided something. God no... "Kate. We need to talk." He said. Yup, It can be worser. Lot worser.

"What's wrong?" I asked, scared.

"You"

"What me?"

"Kate, with your heart problems. We can't do that forever. I want you!"

"So you're giving up on me?"

"That's not what I said."

"It seems like you where saying that!" I almost yelled. I was angry. He was giving up on me. While I was the one with the problems.

"Kate. I love you. But this. I don't think I can do this."

"And our engagement? Huh?"

"I am sorry. Not now."

"RICK! Yes now. You are here. Telling me you are giving up on me. Leaving me." He shook his head. "I am the ine with the problems! I want to have someone around me who can help me if it goes wrong. I have no one left!"

"Kate.. I didn't mean it that way. I want to help you. But 2 years!?"

"If you really love me Rick. You would do that. Garantly you don't love me to much."

"I love you. I swear I do!"

"Yes that radiates from certain! If you love me, you would not run against me screaming. Then I might have had to support you!!" I yelled, and I felt my heart that just broke. I yelled at my Fiancé. At last if we still where engaged.

"I will always support you. But I think it's over for now!"

"YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED FOR YOU! AND NOW YOURE BROKEN?! THINK OF IT HOW I WAS!" Tears stream down my face.

"I tought About it. Enough."

"I want you to leave. Send Sasha. And you never see your child again! You don't want to take care of me? Fine! You don't get to see her once again! AM I CLEAR!"

"MORE THAN CLEAR." He looked at me. Anger all over his face. "I don't need you. I can do it all by myself." With that he left. What the hell have I done..... I yelled at him, and now our Relationship is over. And worser. I lost Alexis. And him. I will keep his daughters away from him. I am to bad for him.

"Fuck!?" I yelled to myself. "Why did you do this bitch! You need him! And now you just Broke him. And yourself...." This can't be true! Why did I do this? Was I sick!? God jezus.....

Well yes. This is it! Again. I felt alone. Left. This is a kind of a moment that will seriously take over my life. Maybe it's better when I am dead? Isn't it?