I Can't Kill Him [Akabane Karma]

17 | Truth

CHIHARU'S POV

I made my way to the girls' room and walked past the boys' room, happening to overhear their conversation.

"So Kanzaki-san's in second place after all."

"Well there's really no one who'd dislike her."

"Chiharu-san is first place it seems, as expected though. She's smart, pretty and good in assassinations than everyone in class."

I blushed and wondered who Karma picked.

"Ooh, looks like you guys are doing something interesting," his devilish voice commented.

"Nice timing, Karma."

"Are you interested in any of the girls in our class?"

"Everyone's said theirs so you're not getting out of it."

"Hmm... Okuda-san, I guess," he replied.

Why...?

"Oh? That's unexpected. Why?"

"She seems like she'd be able to cook up shady medicines, chloroform and stuff like that. So I'd have an even wider variety of pranks to choose from," he replied.

Eh? That seems more like Karma... But, why does my heart still feel so heavy?

Unconsciously, my hands touched my lips and recalled the time we both kissed.

"Are you sure you like Okuda-san? You and Chiharu-san seem like a better match though. Don't you like her?"

"Haru-Haru? Well, we were childhood friends and she confessed to me once... I..."

I ran away. I did not want to hear what he wished to say about me.

My heart was breaking. Again.

Why? I thought I had forsaken all my feelings for him and renamed them as childish puppy love?

So, why? Why is my heart so... In pain. And why am I crying.

I wiped my tears as I ran to the closest bathroom to wash my face.

Everything he did was a lie.

Everything he said was a lie.

He is a lie.

My surroundings got darker and darker. I was not passing out. Everything my parents said about love was flashing in front of me like images in a broken record.

"Love is unnecessary."

"If you love something, you are weak."

"You are a disgrace if you love someone."

"If you have love, you cannot kill."

"You are not my daughter if you love your own family!"

They would beat me up, lock me in a cage or let me starve for days if they learnt I had something pathetic such as 'love'. This treatment was what made me strong, yet weak inside. The only one who could bring out the true me was my sister.

I looked up into the mirror and saw my own reflection. My pathetic face was reflected to me. Red puffy eyes from crying saying 'Save me' and a crooked fake smile saying 'I'm okay'.

I'm really messed up, am I? How many have I mercilessly killed with my guns?

I washed my face a few more couple of times and walked out, the first person I saw was Okuda-san. I smiled and greeted her, but inside I was screaming 'Go away!'. She smiled back innocently and walked into the toilet.

How nice it is... To live such an innocent and blissful life... Short-term assassins.

Even if you are assassins for a year, you will never understand the true feeling it is to kill hundreds. To see death everyday like a routine. To have blood smeared on your clothes like a mark that would never leave.

That's right... What am I doing making friends? I was here to kill.

I swiftly took out my gun from my pocket and waited for the target to run pass me, he was currently being chased from what I can hear from the sounds of my classmates footsteps and the familiar sound of knives being thrown and bullets being fired.

3...

2...

1...

BANG!

SPLOTCH!

A tentacle exploded.

"Chiharu? What's wrong?" my classmates asked when they saw me facing down with my gun pointed at the target. Koro-sensei's tentacle regenerated and he moved towards me, putting a tentacle on my shoulder.

"Ne, Sensei, please don't touch me so easily. I cannot let the filthy tentacles of my target dirty me," I said coldly and shrugged his tentacle off. I shot another bullet at him.

"Sensei, aren't we supposed to be our target? Aren't you scared that we will kill you? So why are you playing with us like we are fools?" I asked.

"Chaiharu-san, have you forgotten? I may be your target, but I am also your teacher. It's a teacher's responsibility to make sure every student is happy and contented," he replied.

"I see... Sensei... Do you honestly think I am contented with how things are?" I asked. "The only thing that can content me is walking out of this place with that huge bounty hung on you. So since you said you are here to make us students happy... Die for me."

I was about to shoot when I got crushed by a hug. It felt familiar, who hugged me?

I looked up and saw the familiar red head.

"Karma? Why?"

"I love you."

"Eh?"

"I am replying to your confession years ago."

"Baka (idiot). It's too late for that reply." I cried and smiled. "I hate you."

+++

~flashback~

KARMA'S POV

"Are you sure you like Okuda-san? You and Chiharu-san seem like a better match though. Don't you like her?"

"Haru-Haru? Well, we were childhood friends and she confessed to me once... I love her I guess, but even if she confesses to me again, I will reject her."

"Eh? Why?"

"She still seems confused about the concept of love, I will not accept her feelings until she is clear about them. Besides, I think she hates me," I replied.

The boys stared at me blankly. I glared at them and asked, "What?"

"Karma said something deep... Really deep that it is unexpected."

I got annoyed and smiled innocently with a murderous aura emitting from me. "Would you mind repeating that?"

"Nothing!"

~end of flashback~

+++

CHIHARU'S POV

As I said. Everything is a lie.

But I chose to believe they were the truth.

Like that, our school trip ended.