I Can't Kill Him [Akabane Karma]

49.3 | Remains They Left Behind

A/N: These are would-be endings that could happen, but it doesn't of course. Just think of them as... OVAs lol

1

It has been weeks since that day. Karma grips on the bouquet of white orchids he had prepared days before when he got discharged. He had been in a coma for a long time and the news about her could have been more traumatic than he'd think. He did not know the details, after all, he was unconscious when it happened. He just could not help but keep blaming himself.

Now he stands in front of her grave, still unable to comprehend it. His red bangs blew in the wind and uncovered his red puffy eyes from crying sleepless nights. He had been afraid of falling asleep, fearing that maybe what they said were all lies and she was still out there, needing him to save her. Save her from her own thoughts that eats her mind. And if he fell asleep, he will never be able to protect her and keep her safe by his side before it's too late.

"Why? It's all my fault..." He chanted as his grip tightened and he bit his lip, forcing the tears back. He kneels down and reads the words carved on the gravestone. RIP Muramoto Chiharu.

 They did not even have a proper funeral for her because of her standing as an assassin, not even a grave prepared for her. The one he stood in front of was made by his classmates who just wanted to have something to remember her by and moan her death.

He places the bouquet of white orchids by the stone and gives a sigh. "Hey, Haru-Haru. I've been such a coward, it must have been funny watching me like this." He laughs nervously.

"Why wasn't I awake?" He speaks in a monotonous tone. "If I was... I would have stopped you. You wouldn't have had to face it alone."

"I miss you." 

A ghostly figure stands behind him not far behind, hearing everything he says. 

"I need you." 

She did not want to do it either. Maybe there could have been another way to end it. A way where they could both still be together like how she dreamt it to be. Maybe if she realized her feelings a little earlier, she could have made everything better. It was not his fault.  She wraps her translucent arms around him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

+++

2

How long has it been? She doesn't know. All she knows is that it was all her fault. Her stupidity that made things out to be what it is. Tears streaming down as she read his letters that he left her. The letters he promised long ago.

Each and every letter were addressed to her without a proper address. They were all lying on the ground cause she had accidentally dropped the box from how heavy it was. They dated back all the way to when they first met when they were kids.

To Haru-Haru,

You aren't dead. I know that. I don't believe in your letter. Why did you go? Was it something I said? I want to say sorry.

Even a time that she does not remember too well.

I think I saw her at the ball my parents brought me to today. I was not quite sure since she wore a mask, but her eyes, her hair and her voice was all too familiar. If only I could confirm it was really her.

When they finally met again as teenagers.

I have finally found her. She had grown up to be so pretty. It doesn't seem like she remembers me but I will wait for her to finally do. But then again, it might just be better if I just let our past be buried and we can make new memories. This might just be better for the both of us. For me, to tell her I love her. Not as a friend like I said before. But as someone, I want as my wife in the future. But I am a little late for that I have really missed her, but it seems her heart belongs to another guy. Hey Haru-Haru... Why do you love him, but not me?

She grips the letters tightly as the tears drop down, staining the papers wet as she remembers the last time.

~~~

"No way am I going to let you kill yourself..." Hari-chan said when Haru-Haru pointed the gun at her head. She grabbed it forcefully from Haru-Haru's hands and pointed it at Karma. The long-haired female panicked and reached out to take it back from her sister. But las' she was a tad too late. Her sister had already fired the gun. The bullet pierced through the red head's heart, stopping the beat.

"Remember, Haru-nee. This was all your fault. If you did not develop feelings for him, you would not feel so in pain right now." Hari-chan smirked and left her older twin staring at the lifeless body of her love in shock and fear.

In a flash, she felt like she had been enveloped in the darkness and she was all alone. He was gone. The one who made her life feel meaningful as an assassin. Made her feel like she was loved by a family. Now he was gone.

~~~

"It's all my fault that I am suffering." She was too late. She had all the time to discover her feelings and make things right, but she procrastinated and denied them. Now, this is what she gets.

Regret. Unbelievably suffocating. Drowning her in sorrow. Pain felt like the thorns of a rose stem, stabbing into her. She was a mess. No doubt from her cut wrists and disarrayed appearance. She needed him to save her. She needed him to be here. She needed him.

And all he could do was watch.

A/N: hehe yeah... kinda depressing aren't they? I was going to just write the last chapter, but I decided to write a little alternate with a couple of details that spoils the sequel. Let's see if anyone can point them out haha. As for now, do wait for the last chapter. It's coming soon...