Nicotine Hearts || (In Editing)

14

It's hard really.
To make the first move.

I'm not talking about sex or who asks who out first.

I'm talking about when you finally admit it, that you're totally, completely theirs.

My thoughts were;
'What if I sound stupid.'
'Am I taking this too seriously, what if we're just a teenage fling to him?'
'Shit, why is he so hard to read?'
'Okay I'm just gonna say it.'
'I don't have to say it, he should just know.'
'My head hurts, better just sleep on it.'

Except, I slept on it every night. Until I'd made my pure, simple feelings for him into a big thought out mess.

I felt like such a... girl.

There was one night, I'd fallen face first on the concrete outside and grazed my hands. It burned more than I dared to show, my eyes stung with unshed tears.

"Shit." He cursed and picked me up, holding my face in his hands. "You okay?"

I watched the small worry creases in his forehead tense as his eyes scanned me, a burning cigarette held between his lips.

I nodded stubbornly, but he made it harder not to cry. It didn't hurt that bad, but it was like when you banged your head as a kid and your mum rushes to your aid with panic, love and worry laced in her tone and she looks like you'd just broken all your limbs.

I suddenly felt like a little kid again, and I wanted to burst into pathetic tears.

He somehow sensed my omission and carried me home, which was quite comical- I think he just did it to please me.

He sat me on the kitchen table and made me hold out my palms as he cleaned them.

But it was after when he brought my grazed palms up to his lips and kissed them that I made my stupid choice.

The rare times he did little things like this, I simply melted. Somehow, my brain is obviously singed too and so it was then I let out the scorched words.
"I love you."

I kind of just waited for a reaction. For a mutual response or shock and a frown, but that wasn't what I got.

He actually, didn't look that fazed at all. He just smiled like he already knew.

Somehow, that hurt much more.

Authors Note: I may start posting less often, at this rate the book will be finished too fast. Maybe every two or three days. I also just walked home in the rain and I'm soooo cold :'( well, hope you enjoyed the chapterrrr
-Mini