Nicotine Hearts || (In Editing)

28

I fiddled with my hands in Emma's car, tugging my black dress down to my knees.

"You look amazing Asp." Olive comments, giving me a friendly grin.

I give her a shy smile back, hoping her words were as honest as they sounded.

"Do you think Drew will be there?" She asks Emma, Drew being her ex-boyfriend.

She shrugged, keeping her focus on the road. "Maybe, but who cares. He's not going to stop us from having fun. Isn't that right Aspyn?" She winks.

My phone buzzes from my jacket pocket, begging to be noticed.

Caller ID: Hospital 🤕

My heart drops a little, thinking about the events that unfolded earlier today.

He was so cruel, I didn't deserve that. I couldn't even bear to think about him, never mind some stupid forms the hospital was probably ringing me to sign.

"Uhh... Aspyn?" Em pulls me back to reality.

I scramble to answer her question, biding my nerves. "Y-yeah. Of course we are, lots of fun." I bite my cheeks to stop my smile from caving in.

I turn off my phone and tuck it away, sitting quietly for the rest of the ride.

Aaron's house was bigger than I remembered, the white building loomed over the rest of the inferior properties in the neighbourhood. Every window seemed to be drowning the air in loud, thudding music.

We hiked up the lawn and knocked on the door but it was already open.

I tried to stay in the open spaces of the place, not wanting to get swept up in the masses of people swarming around with liquor in red cups and bodies swaying to the music.

I somehow ended up with vodka in my hand and then it somehow ended up in my stomach and then it somehow ended up clouding my brain.

"You're Aspyn right? Emma's friend?"

Where did that voice come from?
I looked around wildly to see which drunken adolescent it had come from only to half focus on the blurry before me.

He reeked of alcohol. Or wait... was that me?

"Yeah that's me!" My heart raced fast, I felt giddy, excited even. It was like I was breathing to the same beat of the music. I was at ease.

"I'm Dylan, I think I've seen you at school before."

"OH YEAH MAYBE! I HAVENT BEEN IN SCHOOL AS MUCH LATELY HAHAH." I shouted over the loud music, it was like the volume of everything had been turned up, even Dan.

"Well I just wanted to say I think you're really pretty." He smile, with my eyes still focusing in and out though it looked kind of scary. His head was like a skin coloured marble with a gaping hole that vaguely looked like grin.

"THANKS DAN"

"It's Dylan"

"OH SORRY DAN"

"Right..." He paused for a second. "So why weren't you at school as much?"

"WELL-" but as soon as I begin my head whirls and my knees weeken, Dan catches me as I fall.

"Woah there." With his hands supporting me I'm guided to a leather brown couch clad in a love struck couple snogging and squished me on the end. "There, are you okay?"

I scrunched my face up as if it would push all the parts of my brain back together again and held my head in my hands. "Y-Yeah. I'm fine, thank you Dan."

"My name is... nevermind. You're welcome." He put his hand in his pockets and pivoted awkwardly. "I'll go get you some water." He says and then is off before I can protest.

Great. That's all you're good at Aspyn, making boys run away.

Idiot. Pathetic. Hopeless.
I'm partying like I'm fine when I know I'm not, I'm a duck pretending to be a swan.

I miss him. No, I miss my life. I miss me.

He ruined it all and then left me to pick up the pieces. It's not my fault.

Is it?

What's wrong with me?
A bitter laugh plays out in my head.
What's right with me?

"Here you go." A glass of water extends out infront of me.

The guy came back, I guess not everyone breaks their promises then. "I thought you ran away." I raised an eyebrow.

He laughed. "I could never run away from a pretty girl like you."

I felt a light blush rise to my cheeks and vowed my head to avoid his gaze.

"Seriously." He says. "You're beautiful. Funny too."

I smile and take the glass of water from his hands and momentarily become stuck staring at my reflection in the water.

The girl in the water didn't look that weak. She looked like she used to be someone strong.

But she changed because of him. The guy who cared about the dirt on the bottom of his shoe more than her.

You changed me Silas and for everything you've done to me...
I hate you.

Authors Note: if you thought Dylan was gonna spike her drink and rape her then SHAME ON YOU, just how much cliche teen fiction have you been reading exactly?? *hardcore judging face*... & Well shit. There's only two chapter left :(
- Mini