Nicotine Hearts || (In Editing)

23

"I love you, goodbye."

A few days earlier~

The winter seemed to be getting deeper, I couldn't step outside my front door without being sunk into atleast an inch of thick snow.

I had began to seriously resent road crossing for making me step in the cold, gunky, grey mush that I was forced to step in to get to the hospital.

I shook off my boots and pulled of my beanie with a sigh as I walked through the ward and into Silas's room. "Ugh I hate this weather, if I slip on ice one more-"

"Aspyn?"

"Huh...?" I looked up from my boots to Silas. My mouth fell open in shock, I felt like I'd just been trapped in a freeze frame.

"How could you?" I threw myself forward with gritted teeth, snatching the bottle of whisky from his hand.

He didn't answer, looking down in shame.

"God Silas!" I say say in exasperation. "Can't you see this stuff is going to kill you?" I wave the bottle violently in the air, the tinted liquid sloshing about inside.

He chuckled. "I'm already as good as dead." He slightly slurred. "What does it matter anyway?"

Before I knew what I was doing I slapped him, hard. It seemed to break whatever angry haze I was in, I stood with a hand over my mouth, muffling my shallow breaths and him with a red cheek, his head turned to the side from the impact. He didn't look me in the eyes, his bedraggled black hair falling over his blue pools of gloom.

"I'm sorry." I say in a small voice.

I step closer to him, choosing my next words carefully. "But it does matter, you do matter." I sat on the edge of the bed and and tilted his head softly towards me, sucking in a breath at the sight of his eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

"I'm not nothing Silas Ashford, I am something. So you can't say that you don't matter to anybody because you matter to me. I need you to hold on as long as possible, I need you to fight. I, need, you."

I leaned down and rested my head against his chest, not bothering to try and stop my own tears. All I could hear was his beating heart, the thing I wanted to beg to not give up. "Please don't leave me." I whispered.

His warm hands lifted my head up from his chest so I was staring directly into his eyes and, in that moment, neither of us could or wanted to hide from each other anymore.

His face hovered over mine for a minute before his whisky lips melted against mine. My hands were at either side of his head and his hands enclosed my waist.

I allowed myself to get intoxicated my his taste. I already knew he had my heart so being with him wasn't just being close to his heart, it was being close to mine.

Hours somehow passed and I was sat on his bed with his head in my lap as I carded my hands through his dark, messy hair.

We were arguing about who would win in a Pokemon battle.

"I would win." I argued. "There's no doubt about it, I have extensive knowledge on my favourite Pokemon."

"But I have the best strategies, you would have a team full of Magikarp's compared to me."

"Oh you didn't just go there."

"I think I did."

"I would be the best Silas."

"I would be the strongest Aspyn."

We broke into a death stare contest that caused us to break into fits of laughter.

I sighed when the laughs died down. "You don't fool me Silas." I say softly, looking down at him as he stared back up into my eyes. "You're not as strong alone as you would like me to believe."

He closes his eyes, obviously tired. The way he did when the hospital daily doses of morphine suddenly caught up with, a sleepy smile gracing his face. "That's why I have you, to keep me strong." he yawns.

I thought he might have already drifted off but his eyes flicker open for a second, a face casted in fear.

"What's wrong Silas."

"I'm scared." The little big boy mumbles, and then returns to his slumber.

Authors Note: the funny thing about pre writing is I can also see how my writing gets shitter every chapter xD. I'm trying my best lol

Also, I'm listening to bts whilst writing this and I wonder if any armies are reading this. If so, what's your favourite song from wings?? ^_^