How It's Going To Be [h.s.]

Chapter 36

{Harry's Point of View}

                 

By the time Peter stopped at the end of the street to yield to traffic, my eyes were stinging with tears. I blinked hard and looked down at my hands. They were shaking slightly and I knotted my fingers together to hold still. I was thankful Peter didn't glance through the rearview mirror at me and just let me cry alone.

I was being driven to the airport to catch a plane with the rest of the boys and the crew. We were flying to Rio de Janeiro where we would have four days of rehearsals and then our opening show on the fifteenth of March. The next few days were going to be a whirlwind.

I felt guilty for being excited to go on tour. I knew that Kate wanted me to go and wanted me to have fun, but it was hard. I wanted her to come along and be there to experience this journey with me. How could I have such life-changing moments and not share them with her?

"Would you like the radio on?" Peter asked as we sank deep into London traffic.

"Yes, thank you."

I settled back into my seat and fought every desire I had to call Kate or send her a text.

____________

                 

"Harry!" Henry greeted me as I boarded the private jet.

"Hello, Henry," I managed. I genuinely liked Henry. He looked after the band well and kept everyone's head in the right place. But after what Kate told me about his little intervention, I was less than excited to see him.

I smiled and waved to the rest of the people on the plane. I took a seat beside Louis who was hovered over his phone. When I sat down, he looked over at me, "Hello, Harold."

"Hi, Louis," I sighed. 

"Sorry, Harry," Louis muttered. "Today must be hard."

"It's alright," I shrugged.

Liam and Niall sat down in seats near us. Everyone else seemed to be in good spirits and I felt like the one dragging down the mood. This was supposed to be an exciting time. Other times we've left on tour, I had been too excited to even see clearly. But now, I gazed out the window on the other side of Louis and longed to be off the plane and back in bed with Kate.

"So how did it go?" Louis asked quietly. I instantly knew he was referring to saying goodbye.

"It was a lot harder than I expected," I sighed. Liam and Niall leaned in to hear me. "I don't know. I guess I thought I would be okay just letting go, but it's not that easy."

"How was she?" Liam asked.

"Fine," I shrugged. Shattered, I thought. She was shattered. The unknown was scaring her. It always does. "She was good about it."

"The poor thing," Liam shook his head slowly.

Henry came to where we were sitting and briefed us on what would be happening the next few days. It wasn't new information. Julia had already emailed all of us the itinerary, but we nodded along to Henry's words anyway. Finally, the pilot came over the speakers and gave us flight conditions and told us what time we would be landing. 

Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I finally closed my eyes. I could hear the rush of cool air coming from the overhead vents. I could hear Niall laughing at a film he was watching with Liam. I could hear echoes of music emanating from Louis' headphones. Above it all, I could hear my breathing. It was loud and shaky. I was fighting back tears.