How It's Going To Be [h.s.]

Chapter 63

The drive back to my flat from Dr. Monahan's office had been nothing but me summarizing the advice I had been given about managing my post-concussion syndrome to Alessandra as she weaved through traffic. I carefully avoided telling Alessandra about the amnesia. I was still extremely unwilling to tell anyone else that secret. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Harry had mentioned it to anyone.

"You don't have to drive clear down there," I said quietly. Alessandra had passed the front of my building and had begun to ascend into the parking area below.

"Oh no, Kate. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. We are going to go up to your flat, you are going to make me some tea, and I am going to show you something."

"Show me what?" I asked with interest.

"I found something online that I think you should see."

With nothing but pure intrigue, I remained silent as Alessandra parked her car near the stairs. I tried to ignore the fact that she had parked where Harry usually parked his SUV when he came to see me. I swallowed the strange, unwelcomed nostalgia and led Alessandra up the stairs to my flat.

____________

 The first thing Alessandra did was rush into the guest bedroom and take my laptop from the desk. She sat at the kitchen table and turned the laptop on. She pulled out her phone and typed something furiously all while shaking her head and biting her lip agitatedly.

"Could you make some tea, babe?" she asked sweetly.

"Is lavender okay?"

"Lavender tea?" she wrinkled her nose.

"It's not so bad," I shrugged sheepishly.

"Go on, then. I'll give it a try." She went back to the laptop.

I opened the cabinet and found the small cardboard box of lavender tea. It smelled more like expensive bath salt than tea, but I started to boil water for it anyway. I secretly wished it were lemon tea.

I had abandoned my affinity for lemon tea and switched to lavender tea that tasted like laundry soap. Forfeiting my favorite type of tea had been just one way I was slowly trying to lessen the pain of losing Harry. Every framed photograph in my flat had been turned around or laid flat on its face to hide him. The spare toothbrush he kept at my flat had been thrown away. I hid his extra t-shirts and sweats in a trunk in my guest bedroom. A book, a pack of gum, an Alexander McQueen scarf, a necklace, two pairs of socks, a notebook full of potential song lyrics, a phone charger, a Frank Sinatra CD, and a pair of sunglasses—all belonging to Harry—had been stored away in a box kept under my bed.

The kettle screeched and I poured the scalding hot water into two identical teacups. The lavender gave off a soothing scent that calmed my nerves about whatever Alessandra had planned to show me. I brought the tea to Alessandra and set it down on the table in front of her.

"Here," I mumbled.

"Thanks, babe. Okay. Take a look at this."

I sat down and looked at the computer screen. Alessandra was on Tumblr. She was viewing a blog that was named I-dont-hate-Hate. The blog was strictly photos of Harry and me. Sometimes, the blogger had written short paragraphs talking about us or other major events surrounding the band. There were links to other similar blogs. There were dozens of absurd tags. The blogger had uploaded an audio of Harry talking to me at an event where we had been unknowingly recorded having a conversation about Niall's outfit.