How It's Going To Be [h.s.]

Chapter 62

{Harry's Point of View}

Chicago was sweating in the September heat. A late heat wave had blasted the city causing everything to move in slow motion. The ever-present symphony of city noises seemed to be amplified by the steady drone of fans and air conditioning units. People sauntered down the streets pushing sunglasses up the bridge of their noses and fanning themselves with folded up copies of The Chicago Tribune.

I watched the sun-slowed scene unfold from the fifth floor window of a recording studio we had commandeered for the afternoon. We were tasked with trying to record our new album while on the road. It was part of what made tour so difficult. I was exhausted and hot and my heartbreak still felt devastatingly fresh.

"Harry," a voice said calmly, "I really need you to focus here. Do you need some more water?"

"No, I'm fine," I shook my head. I turned back to find a room full of people watching me intently. The crew responsible for on-the-road recording gathered behind equipment and laptops eagerly awaiting my return to the microphone to finish my solo. What they didn't realize was that my voice didn't feel right. I didn't feel right. And truthfully, I hadn't felt right since the breakup.

The breakup. The memory stung me all over again. I pictured her sad eyes filling with tears. I could hear her voice breaking with emotion. I could see her turning and walking away from me. I could hear the door slamming shut after her. I could feel the pressure in my chest from the built-up sadness of losing Kate.

"Harry, we can't get anything done without your complete focus. Would it be better if we closed the blinds and made the room a little darker? Are you hungry? Do you need a few minutes to collect yourself?"

I hated when they treated me like a child. "No, I'm fine. I'm ready. Let's go."

One of the sound technicians removed his headphones and sighed at me. He gave me a look of pity and shook his head. "I know you're going through a something, but this is a good opportunity to channel those emotions and let them out through your music. Let whatever you're feeling feed your sound."

"You don't know anything," I seethed. "You don't know what I'm feeling."

"Harry—"

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and didn't recognize the phone number. I was glad for the distraction. "Need to take this," I explained.

"Sure," he shrugged.

I removed the headphones from around my neck and slipped into the hallway where I was completely alone. "Hello?"

"Harry Styles?"

"Yes?"

"This is Morgan Cox from Dr. Monahan's office. I'm calling to confirm an appointment made for next Thursday for Kate."

"I didn't call to make an appointment," I said slowly.

"I know, Mr. Styles. Kate called for the appointment. This is the phone number we have attached to her records. So this is just a confirmation phone call. Her appointment is at eleven in the morning."

"I'm afraid I'm not with her at the moment. I'm actually in Chicago on tour. Could I give you her phone number to update your records? You could call her and confirm directly."

"That would be brilliant, Mr. Styles."

"Harry," I mumbled. I recited Kate's phone number from memory for Morgan.

"Thank you, Harry. Good luck on tour."

"Thank you."

"Good day!"