Profound Love

The goodbye letter

My dearest,
Before I write what I've been meaning to say for a while now, I cannot stress to you enough how sorry I am. As you read this, by now you should know that I've committed the unthinkable. If you pulled out of your comma, I'm sorry.

I didn't want to lose you, I've never wanted to lose you, the time we shared... Happily... Together will stay with me for the many years to come, even if I'm in heaven, they will still be with me.

Do you know what memory I will treasure the most? The day you were born, your beautiful blue eyes sparkling as you looked up at me, I just went through a hard time with your father, but that moment I held you in my arms I knew that you would bring happiness into my life! And that's what you did y/n!

No matter what obstacles came our way, even when you were 10 and your father came and abused me. No matter the bruises, nor the pain I was in...you found a way to make me smile!
And for that I thank you!

Since that horrid day, I pledged to make you smile, even on the worst days. And in saying that, those days that you came home black and blue, I should have asked you what had happened, who I should beat up! I should of Been that type of mother, yet I wasn't and for that I am forever sorry! I turned my back on you when you needed me the most! But you never turned your back on me... No matter how much of a cunt I was, you stood by me! And I love you for that, I wish I could say the same for me, but I can not mend the things I done to you... It tears me apart everyday....

The day I found out that you tried to kill yourself, i couldn't bare think that you were in that much pain, the tears flooded down my face uncontrollably, I couldn't bare lose you, you were my savour though all those years, but I wasn't yours! That hurt more than anything...

So I wrote this to you, sorry a million times sorry, for what I've done! I know you must be torn, but I can't live with the fact that I turn my back on you when you needed me most...

Please forgive me, I love you and always will... I will be looking down on you... Stay strong my darling girl for ever and always loving you xox

_____
The tears streamed down my face as I read her goodbye letter, i loved her and I would always love her. No matter what, even if she turned her back on me, she had her reasons, whatever they may be... She's my mother and I care to much to hold a grudge on her.

Dead or alive i pledged to brighten her day, and that I did'😘...

I'm going to miss her!