A Friend To The Elements

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

*Adam's POV*

I jumped off the couch and immediately crouched in defensive mode. My lips snarled up in a growl and warmth spreading through my fingers as my body prepared to shift.

"It's just my honey." Mom walked to me and laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. Her eyes were sympathetic, but I caught a glimpse of fear when it took me a few seconds to register safety and sit down.

"The night terrors wouldn't stop. I don't know what they are doing to her."

She sat down next to me and pulled her legs up to sit with her legs crossed on the couch. "But you know she's out there. You have to hang on to that." She was right. I could feel...something. It started around one in the morning when we had returned home. I ran back out alone for two more hours hoping that if I ran in different directions it would get stronger as I got closer, but there was nothing else. Just a small feeling in my chest that told me I wasn't alone. No more and no less.

"Do you want some coffee?" I pushed myself off the couch and headed to the kitchen before I really waited for a reply. She would just shrug her shoulders and not eat whatever had been put in front of her. Since the move she had began to take nibbles and sips, but I didn't know if this reminder of loss would send her spiraling again.

I scooped the coffee grounds into the pot and flipped the button. The gurgling and dripping sound soon filled the room while the fresh smell of coffee spread its way through the whole house. I pulled three cups from the cabinet and placed them on the counter. Dad couldn't stay away from fresh coffee for long.

I glanced at mom for a minute and everything inside me went cold. She had pulled her knees up to her chest while still keeping her ankles crossed. Her forehead was dropped onto her knees while her long stringy black hair fell onto either sides in order to conceal her face. Her shoulders moved not in raked sobs but in a steady in and out breathing. She was fighting back the panic. Would that be me? Would I never want to eat again? Any time I don't have another distraction my body just crumbling in on itself? No. No we were going to find her. I hadn't lost her yet.

I slipped sugar into mine and mothers cup then a little bit of powdered creamer into hers. We hadn't gotten full groceries yet. Only the essentials and some powdered items that would withstand the move. Today was supposed to be grocery shopping and one of us would have to go.

At the clinking of the cups she propped her chin up on her knees and stared at the turned off television. "I have a doctor's appointment today. It will be a long drive."

"Hopefully they will give you good news." She shook her head with a level of tired that I didn't think I could ever see from her.

"We are done trying Adam. We wanted so bad to give you a sibling. A family like the others have, but something is wrong with me. I can't keep losing my babies. It takes a piece of me every time. I have you and that's enough." I poured the coffee over the sugar and watched it briefly bubble as the coffee made its way inside each and every space of the lump. I walked to her and gently sat her cup on the table.

"You and Dad are more than enough. We are in a new place. It's time for us to start over." I wrapped my arms around her and she collapsed into my chest. Her breath stayed slow and even. I wondered if she was out of tears.

Sometimes her grief made me angry. She would sit in that would be nursery all day and night touching every onesie, diaper, box of un put together toys. Sometimes we could hear her screaming at the goddess. The last pregnancy had gotten so far. We named her Charlotte. Most of Mom's pregnancies never made it out of the second trimester, but Charlotte lasted eight months. I remember driving to the hospital ready to meet my baby sister. Instead of a screaming bundle of joy they let me hold a purple silent body. Mom still hadn't recovered.