August 2nd 1990
I laid on the ground of the Arizona Desert. It was absolutely clear outside, making the sky incredibly beautiful. While the fire was burning a few yards away, people were riding their motorcycles around it and even over it.
"What're you doing over here, darlin'?" His familiar voice asked from a few feet away.
"Dreaming." I sighed. I sat up and looked at Daryl. His greasy brown hair was sticking to his forehead and his face was growing a little scruff.
"You're always dreaming." He muttered.
"You're not wrong." I giggled. Daryl pulled out two needles and the good shit.
"I stole this from Charlie." He whispered. My eyes lit up and I ripped the drugs from his hand.
"Do you have a belt?" I asked. Daryl removed his belt and tied it around my arm. "I need a light." I ordered. Daryl took out his lighter and began to put the solid heroin into the spoon.
I took a needle and sucked up the liquid poison. I held the belt in my mouth to make sure it stayed tight. I poked the needle into my favorite vein and pushed down. I felt the heroin travel through my veins. The sweet sensation was the best feeling.
"This is some good shit." I dreamily sighed. I threw the needle off into the distance and took off the belt. I handed it to Daryl and he rolled up his already tattered shirt, which revealed the little bruises from the uses of heroin.
Daryl tied the belt around his arm like I did, and I began to set up the spoon. Daryl grabbed his needle and sucked in the heroin. He stabbed himself with the needle and I watched his face go from needy to relaxed.
"Hell yes." He muttered. He laid back and I copied his movements.
You may be very confused. I forgot all about Duff. I forgot about everything in fact. As far as anyone knew, I didn't have a family.
At the end of January, Carmen and I dropped out of college together and came back to America with the very little money we had. We were stuck in Colorado. We decided to just walk the interstates. Then somehow, we met this group of bikers. They took us in and made us their girls. So now, here I am. I'm a heroin addict with no past.
*****
"Don't you miss your family?" Carmen whispered? I dragged on my cigarette and sighed.
"Nope." I muttered. Carmen sighed.
"They must be worried about you." She sounded concerned, and to be honest, I wasn't feeling it.
"You know what, Carmen. If you don't like the way I do things, then I suggest that you leave." I yelled. Carmen stood still, but with a straight face.
"I would. But, Cass, you're my only chance. I don't have a family." Her face was hard, but I could still see the emotion in her eyes. I put out my cigarette and sat closer to Carmen.
"Tell me everything, I'll tell you everything after." I bargained. She nodded and breathed in.
"I was 5 when my parents died in a crash. So I was shipped off to live with my wretched aunt. Well, after I turned 15 I left and lived with complete strangers. I started drinking, taking drugs, having sex, just anything that could keep a roof over my head. I became such a popular person in the underground scene that I had a group of fake friends. Boys, girls, they all followed me around, no matter what. That was when I met that guy James I'm the country side. He paid for college and broke things off. I wasn't even hurt by it. I just knew that I was getting out of that scene. Now I'm back, and I don't mind it." She didn't shed a tear once. Her voice never cracked, or wavered. It was as smooth as it ever was. Carmen was the strongest girl I knew.
"My ex boyfriend, Michael, is actually Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses. My sister is Danny Ryder, the girlfriend of Ryan Percy from Ashes Of Angst." Carmen's face lit up and she smiled.
"Are you kidding me?!" She jumped up and down. I'll never understand that moment. She just told me her dark past a minuet ago, then
she begins to jump up and down in excitement.
"Shhhhh, Daryl's in the other room." I hushed while chuckling.
"Cassidy, you have to tell your sister that you're okay!" She urged.
"No. Because if Duff is worried about me, then he'll come looking for me and see me like this. It'll kill him." I stated.
"Then why don't you quit?" She asked.
"Because heroin is my one true love." I whispered. I stood up and walked into the next room of the motel.
*****
"Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem
Lying to herself 'cause her liquor's top shelf
It's alarming honestly how charming she can be
Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun
She says, "You don't want to be like me
Don't wanna see all the things I've seen."
I'm dying, dying
She says, "You don't want to get this way.
Famous and dumb at an early age."
Lying, I'm lying
The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen
She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes
She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond
Audio tune lies, she's still shining
Like lightning, ohh, white lightning."
"We're going to the gas station. We're gonna drop you and Carmen off there and run somewhere then pick you up." Daryl ordered. I wrote the last few lines of the poem. I felt a slap to the side of the face. "Are you deaf?! Get your ass up!" He yelled. Then came another slap to the face which made me fall to the floor. I scrambled to pick up my notebook.
"Daryl! C'mon, we're waiting!" One of the guys yelled. Daryl looked up for a split second, then crouched down to my level.
"If you're not out of here in one minuet, you're dead." He growled. He then stood up and stormed out of the room. I stood up and looked at my face. Two big welts took residence on both sides of my face. I noticed that the black eye was healing, and the scars began to finally fade.
I put the notebook into my bag and ran out of the room. Daryl was on his bike while Carmen was on the bike next to Daryl. I climbed on and just waited for the gas station to come up.
******
"Cass, are you okay?" Carmen asked. I wiped a tear from my eye and looked at her.
"I'm, broken." I cried. "I can't have a normal love." I sobbed. Carmen and I were waiting by the gas pumps and waited for the familiar roars of the bikes. So far, all I heard was the silence of the road, accompanied by the old 50s music in the background.
"It's okay. It'll be okay. We'll get out of this soon." Carmen comforted.
Just then a bus rolled up. It looked to be the size of a coach bus of a tour bus. I just sat there with Carmen holding my hand. The door opened and the very familiar head of blonde hair came out of the bus.
"Holy shit!"
A/N- Yes I'm using Daryl Dixon as a model for this book. Why? Because it just works.
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Fanfiction"I found me a lover who could play the bass, he's kinda quiet but his body aches. Spent the days dreaming and the nights awake. Doing things we know we shouldn't do." Cassidy Ryder was not your typical girl on The Strip. Usually, you'd see girls wit...
