Tomorrow - Dylmas Fanfiction

Tomorrow

            I awoke, hot, sweet air clogging my airways. I pulled my face out of my pillow and sat up. my skin felt stretched over my cheekbones, eyes bloodshot. The memory of last nights hysteria hit me in the stomach. Today I was going to kiss my best friend, who also happened to be my one true love. Only the love would never be returned in the same way. I, Thomas Sangster, was going to have to live my life without the only person I'd ever loved. Forcing myself out of bed, I trudged into the bathroom and took a look in the mirror. Everyone would be able tell I'd been crying from a mile away. Especially Dylan. His attention to detail made this all so much harder. He would see the pain in my eyes at first glance and ask what was wrong. I couldn't very well say "Because you're the only one I will ever love and I can never have you."

              Pulling down my boxers, I stumbled into the shower and twisted on the water. Tracing the line of my belly with my fingers and listening to the droplets of water hitting my pale back, I wished harder than ever for a miracle world where Dylan O'Brien became attracted to men. Specifically men called Thomas Brodie Sangster who played the role of Newt in The Maze Runner movies.

              I stopped the tepid water and slipped open the shower door. Standing in front of the rectangular mirror and sweeping the now light brown strands of hair from my eyes, I stared at myself. My eyes still contained light red lines that gave away my secrets. I'd been so overwhelmed that it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't even thought about how I was actually going to manage the kiss. I knew everyone would be watching. I knew I'd be filmed. I knew that one day anyone in the entire world would be able to see it. And I had to do it all in the closet. How? Dylmas and Newtmas was a massive thing! It was going to be watched millions of times by people looking for any clues that Dylmas was real. The air in my lungs disappeared. There was no way I could do this. For a moment, I considered playing sick. But it wouldn't work. This was an essential part of the film and if it wasn't shot today, it would be shot when I was better, and so would the kiss. Wrapping myself up in a towel, I walked back into my room. I perched on my bed for a good five minutes, letting fear consume me. Just get up you idiot,  I told myself, sitting here won't solve anything. It will only make everyone even more suspicious than they already are. I forced myself off the bed, threw on some clothes and walked out the door. "Hey mate!" It was Dylan, "Excited for the shoot today? It's gonna be awesome!"

Just say yes. It's not hard. Get the bloody words out!  "Are you OK? Your eyes look red?" 

Oh fuck. How did I forget my eyes?! And I haven't said anything yet! God he's so beautiful. I can't think of anything! Oh God, what does he think? I bet he's guessed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"C'mon, I'm not an idiot, what is it? You know you can tell me anything," Dylan said, leading us back into my room, "Jeez, it's a bomb site in here! Sit down and tell me the deal," Dylan pulled me down onto the sofa so close to him our thighs were touching.

"I'm just tired," I said.

"Thomas," Dylan said more forcefully, "Tell me."

"Dylan! Seriously it's nothing! Just leave me, please!"

What are you doing you idiot?! I thought. But I couldn't help myself. I was out the flat and walking through the lanes.

"Please?" It was Dylan. How could I do that to someone that only wanted the best for me?

"Sorry," I managed to choke out.

Dylan pulled at my left arm. "Get back inside you moron."

A part of me was severely jealous of Dylan - he seemed to have everything. The whole world loved him. He had that instantly likeable character that everyone loved. Just down to earth and hilarious. He had no secrets weighing him down and he was currently one of the biggest stars in Hollywood.

                    Back indoors, Dylan pretended to forget about the morning. He could see there was no use in pushing it. Breakfast was only small talk so I ended up switching off the connections I had to the outside world and concentrated on strategies for the kiss. No one had mentioned it so a small part of me wanted to forget about it. But that wasn't an option. Like it or not, it was the only thing in my brain.