Tomorrow - Dylmas Fanfiction

Hysterical

"You can't do this," Dylan whispered, "It's not helping and it won't make the inevitable any easier."

"Do what?" I replied, knowing the answer full well.

"Attack anyone who tries to hurt me. Besides, I'm stronger than you - I can stand up for myself better than you can."

I knew it was true, but hearing Dylan say that made me feel like a giant, useless lump of shit. I couldn't protect him, I couldn't look after him and I couldn't love him. What was there to live for if I couldn't live for the only thing I cared about? "It won't help us, but don't tell me you don't get even the slightest bit of satisfaction in witnessing pain in the face of such a monster," Hearing my thoughts out loud suddenly brought the realisation of how repulsive they were. Was I truly that disgusting to have said and believed the thought that had just left my mouth?

"Thomas, I know you don't mean that," Dylan stared into my eyes, taking my hand in his.

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I've let this happen! I'm sorry Aml told your parents! I'm sorry I was born! I'm sorry I ruined your life! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! All I wanted was to love you and I couldn't even manage that! I hate myself!" I screamed, stomping around the room, tears flowing down my crimson cheeks.

Dylan collected the last sane nerves in his body, "Thomas!" he rushed over to me, pulling me into a hug and resting his head on my shoulder, "I love you! Remember that no matter what happens, promise me that. It was my fault. I made this happen. I can handle this, Okay? I can handle my parents, everything will.." choking sounds escaped his mouth. We both knew he was sugar coating the truth. Even if he could handle his parents, which he could not, we would never be together afterwards. The best case scenario was my life resuming a lonely hell, whilst living with the knowledge that I'd ruined the life of the most important person to me.

"I hate life. I just want to die. I want to go somewhere where people accept love for what it is, not who it's with. I'm done with life on earth if this is what in entails," My tone was flat and tired, interrupted with frequent sobs, reflecting my attitude to life.

"I'm done with pretending. I'm done with putting on a front. Done with building walls for my emotions. Done with faking strength. Done with anything and everything. You know something? Twenty two years of never being able to reveal yourself is not fun. Neither is faking happiness. Every smile and every laugh felt like my soul was being burned. Every single day a giant lie. Imagine that," Dylan sobbed into my arms.

"I don't have to." I burrowed my head into his neck.

Dylan didn't reply. The pain had finally become too much for him to store inside. My heart ached to comfort him, but I knew all efforts would be in vain. I knew his pain. It was like a terminal disease. Intense, progressing to unbearable and eventually fatal. The power of words is under estimated. The one sentence Aml said to Dylan's parents caused all of this. Unbearable, suicidal pain to multiple beings.

We stood there, weeping into each others arms, our emotions pouring out. It was like a volcanic eruption - the magma brewing inside until there is no where for it to go except out, in a giant, dangerous explosion. I hated the world. I hated my life. I hated Aml. I hated everyone and everything except Dylan and I was pretty sure that he felt the same way but towards me.

Eventually, I crumbled into my bed and curled up in a ball. It was the middle of the day but I hurt too much to do anything other than suffer in my sorrow until it finally dragged me into sleep. Dylan lay next to me, his tears continuing to stain his cheeks. Any onlookers would have thought us weak and ridiculous. Two grown men crying themselves to sleep in the middle of the day. But they wouldn't understand. No one would understand.

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Hey Guys! Sorry for not updating in a while - I've been busy with my pet rats (one of them got bumble foot (a common foot infection in rats) and while I was treating her, one of my others escaped and I didn't notice so she ended up running around my room for about 10 minutes and I found her with an injured leg so they're now going to the vets tomorrow)

Hopefully you all had a good Christmas (If you celebrate it, otherwise happy winter/summer depending on where you live) and a good new year if I don't update before then :)

QOTC:

Do you have any pets? If you do, what are they?

A: I have a black Labrador Retriever, two guinea pigs and four fancy (pet) rats