The Real Her

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You got your guards up, I do too, there's things we might discover

Cause you got a past and I do too, we're perfect for each other

But I gotta say, oh babe, oh babe, why is this so familiar?

Just met, already feel like I know the real her

You must've done this before, this can't be your first time

(Warning: I'm about to skip months at a time so we can get to the stuff y'all actually want to read)

~ Cari ~

Kelly laid with his back to his pillow watching tv, while I laid the opposite way with my leg wrapped around his as I typed my essay.

"I don't wanna do this," I referred to the two thousand word essay on the hardest time of my life and how I overcame it.

"You don't have to," Kelly shrugged and I glanced at him and laughed.

I ran my hand through my hair as Pyramids by Frank Ocean played from my phone.

I felt my phone vibrate, interrupting my Spotify and answered it and put it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"What is this about you having a miscarriage?" my mom asked.

"Hello to you too, you're three months late."

"I don't know who you think you're talking to. You were sent up there to get an education not sleep around."

"You're not even paying for me to go here."

I was tired. Tired of being treated like shit by the person that was supposed to love me the most, and me not standing up for myself. And the last thing I want to speak of is a child that doctors can't even tell me why is gone.

"Almost half of pregnancies in the first trimester miscarry with no explainable reason," they said like that was supposed to make me feel any better.

"I'm coming up there Careema," she shouted before hanging up.

"That's not my name." I mumbled as the music I forgot was playing, unpaused itself.

I played with my fingers, thinking of what exactly would happen when she came up here.

"Come here," Kelly commanded and I got up and crawled into his lap as his arms circled around me.

"What's the real reason you came up here for school?" he asked.

I sighed, not wanting to answer this embarrassing question.

"Well it was a couple weeks after my seventeenth birthday, mid november. I went to my school's first basketball game of the season, just to see Kenan and some of my other friends on the team play. My mom told me she'd pick me up at 10:00, but the boys had just started playing and I wanted to watch soo bad, so I stayed til it ended at 11:00." I looked up to see if he was paying attention and he was all ears.

"So she didn't say anything about it until Sunday. She was saying all this stuff about how I was a dumb low life who would never amount to anything, and I told her stop saying that, cause she used to say that all the time. And she said 'You don't ever tell me what to do in my house,' " I  mimicked her voice.

"And she tried to hit me and I shielded my face, which only made her madder and hit me harder, until I yelled 'stop hitting me' and she just hollered at me until she got tired and so while I was sleep that night, she dragged me out of the bed by my hair, and was like 'since you have so  much to say, stand your ass up and fight,'

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