WHY I'M WRITING THIS: BECAUSE I CAN
I just got locked up in my room, I attacked her. I attacked the love of my life. I locked her up in a steaming hot shower, and now I have to face the consequences. I'm fine with it as long as I don't have to face her.
God how stupid could I be? What was I thinking.. she probably won't ever take me back. She probably won't even have the courage to look at me. The thought of me probably makes her vomit, or worse things that I can't come up with because I'm dumb. They are probably going to call my parents, they won't care. They probably don't even remember the way I look.
She doesn't need me though. I was just there temporary, to distract her from her life. When I left the showers I realized I was only a temporary cure to her fear of being alone. I was just angry.. and I'm sorry, that I'm not great at hiding that. I have problems. I have real problems and I have to face them. I'm scared to face them, I don't know how to. What if they bite? Sting? Stab? Or just plain hurt, all over my body? I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be scared. And I'm scared for being scared. Does that equal scarred? I think it does.
I have to fight though, I know I have to. There isn't that much fire left in me, but I'm going to fight with and for what I have. And maybe she will understand why I did what I did, and she will love me just as much. Does she actually feel the same way as I do, or am I just going to end up hurting myself again? I guess that's the risk that comes with being a fighter. And if not for anything or anyone else, I have to fight for myself. Fight because I want to. Fight because I need to. Fight because I deserve it. I deserve to be fought for, even if it's me for myself.
YOU ARE READING
Escape (Ezria)
Fanfictionan Ezria fanfiction.. just a bit different from what you might have already read. - This story follows Aria Montgomery, who after publishing 4 books, returns to rosewood to teach a class of mental patients creative writing and to teach them about li...
