Escape (Ezria)

19. Jane Doe

A doctor walked into my new room in Radley Sanitarium, I looked up surprised. It was Eddie. 'So you're the new Jane Doe..' he said, gazing at me. 'Go ahead, tell them who I am' I said, my voice was raspy from all the crying. He was still startled. He looked at me worried. He sat down on my bed beside me. I looked down at my slippers. He put his hand on my shoulder. 'Aria.. You're very brave, you know that right?' he said. 'not brave enough' I responded quickly. I wasn't as brave as other people, and especially not as brave as Ezra. 'You know, I found it relatively weird you guys didn't know who I was, considering this must still be in my file, from a few years ago' I said, casually. Eddie frowned, 'Why would you bring that up? It happened years ago?' he said, asking me like it was a test, if I gave the correct answer I got no sleeping pills, If I gave the wrong answer they would stuff me with medication. 'Because I never got better. That's why I'm not brave. I never was. You weren't capable of helping me, just like you weren't capable of helping Ezra' I bit the words towards him and he flinched, offended by my big mouth. He knew what I was aiming at though, he and I both knew. 'I'm sorry' he said, difficult. I'd never seen him that upset. 'but life goes on' he added. I shook my head. 'I don't want it to' I uttered. He nodded at me, 'We really tried Aria, we really did.' I nodded. I seemed to be constantly messing up the present and the past, it felt like they were the exact same. What if my life would always go like this, that was impossible to bare. My thoughts were slowly engraving into my mind. I didn't want this anymore. Ezra was dead, and I disappointed everybody. Spencer didn't believe in me anymore, dad was probably still shocked by the fact I had been with Ezra, his student as well, and mom probably figured out by now that my story wasn't mine. And here I was, back to where I once started. But I couldn't bare it anymore, one time was enough. Sometimes you just have to decide to not give something or someone a second chance, because you know it won't work out. You know it won't get better.