Chapter~Ten

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Caspar's P.O.V
I pack my bag saying goodbye to Dan and Phil before getting an uber home it's been three days since I left. Making sure that Oli took Joe out for lunch I wait to get to the house I had lost a bit of my anger but I still had some hurt. Pulling up to the flat I thank the driver before getting my key and unlocking the door I go up to the flat door unlocking it then going in. Closing the door behind me I relock it dragging my bag to the guest room. I put my clothes away since I washed them at Dan and Phil's I put all my stuff up flopping on my bed to work on my next video.

Mum: Sweetheart are you finally back home?

Casp: Mhm just got here.

Mum: Is it okay if I stop by for a few days?

Casp: Of course when do you get here?

Mum: Tomorrow, my flight is this afternoon.

Casp: I can't wait to see you I'll pick you up from the airport.

Mum: Thank you love I can't wait to see you either xx

I smile cleaning the guest room getting new sheets pillow cases and blankets. I set the fan up in the corner for her to turn on before I start cleaning the bathroom and stairs. Slowly I work my way upstairs cleaning and sweeping. Throwing trash away I do the load of laundry before washing the few dishes. Walking back downstairs I grab my wallet wanting to get some flowers for her room walking back up the stairs I open the front door running into Joe.

"Caspar you're here I'm so sorry I thought you were leaving forever I didn't know where you were."

He cries clinging to me I wrap my arm around his waist.

"I'm going to the shop to get flowers my mum is coming for a surprise visit, if you want come with we can talk on the way there."

Joe nods his head following me down the stairs we get an uber to a flower shop.

"I know that I hurt you really bad with the Twitter log I posted I shouldn't have been so harsh and rude with the things I said. I'm sorry I really am I just don't want people harassing us or for our whole relationship to be put out there for people to judge."

"I understand where you are coming from Joe I really do but this isn't just about your feelings it's about mine too. How do you think it makes me feel having to hid the fact that I'm madly in love with you yet when people ask I have to say no. Every time I go to hug you in public people question if it's friendly or not. That isn't something I want Joe that isn't what I want to do with our relationship I want it to grow."

"I've tried explaining this to you Caspy repeatedly I've tried I don't understand why you don't get it. You know maybe maybe we should take a break just for a week or two give ourselves some time. I'll go stay with Zo and Alfie for a lil while think about what you want. This is all that I can give you right now I'm sorry. I'll greet your mum tomorrow and then head for Brighton I don't want it to happen but I need you to think clearly."

I bite my lip nodding my head as we pull up to the shop I get some of my mum's favorite flowers before getting back in and we head home. The silence between us seems so strong with every minute that passes I feel us getting further and further apart. I just hope that at the end of this all Joe will still want to be together. When we get back home I get a vase filling it with water for the flowers before going into the guest room crying myself to sleep.
~~
"Caspar it's so good to see you darling."

My mum smiles pulling me into a tight hug even tho it hasn't been that long since we visited I still missed her.

"It's good to see you too mum I missed you so so much."

"I missed you too baby the very day you left."

She smiles kissing my cheek as we get in a uber she tells me about what she's been up too and I nod listening.

"I'm surprised Joe didn't come with you how's he been?"

"Uh okay."

"Somethings wrong what is it?"

I bite my lip feeling my eyes water as I look out the window.

"Nothing it's my fault mum don't worry."

"Just because you tell me not to worry doesn't mean I won't now what happened?"

"After I went home yesterday Joe and I talked he suggested we take a break for a little while just so we can clear our heads. I pushed him a bit to far this isn't his fault he was going to wait at the house to see you but decided you might be ticked so he left for Zoe and Alfie's house last night."

"Oh darling."

She wraps her arms around me kissing my head as I hold on to her sweater she rubs my back as my eyes water. She helps me into the house when we arrive and I sit on the couch she gets me a glass of water. I watch as she takes in the empty tub of ice cream and small bin of tissues beside the couch.

"Sorry it isn't as clean as it was yesterday Theo said this is what she does when she's upset."

"I didn't come to judge your house Caspar I came to see you."

I nod my head as she kisses my nose keeping her arms tightly around me.


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