Joan Jett and The Runaways. (Tammy's Point of View)

Chapter 20: Helping Joan become herself again!

I didn't see Joan for a few days after I visited her at her apartment/ hotel room. I tried calling her so many times. But she never responded. I know she needs her time. So I decided to stop calling her untill she calls me back. I know she will when she is ready. I just need to give her time.

I ran into Sandy West yesterday. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to her. But we had a really good conversation about The Runaways Breaking up. "No one was angry at each other, that night or anything.." She said.  "It's just we thought that it would be better to do our own thing for a while. Or longer.  I mean not all of us had a lot in common, you know. Everyone always fought.

I know that it really broke Joan." Sandy continued. "We had no intention of doing that. We all know how important this was to her. I truly am sorry. I really hope that now that we have broken up that good things happen that can help all of us become better people and get along with each other, for once. Maybe it will help all of us, and then we can get back together.

Teenage years are the worst! And I mean Kim Fowley treated everyone like shit! Which is really unfair. And we tried so hard to get along after  we told Kim that we were done with him. Please tell Joan that we are very sorry for hurting her. We all love her. It may not seem that way, because we always fight. But we do love her."

 "I know you girls didn't intend to hurt Joan. I'm pretty sure she knows too. It's just it still hurts at the moment. Please don't worry too much about Joan. I will help her. You just need to focus on yourself. I don't mean that you should stop talking to her. But try not to worry to much. And don't worry, I will let her know." Weird... I had no idea that The Runaways would fight all the time. Joan never mentioned that. She mentioned very little about being in The Runaways. She always talked about good things about her and Cherie.

"Tammy, I remember our first time on tour. And Kim promised us all of these things which eventually turned out to be lies. He said he would make sure that we were all well taken care of. And then at some point Cherie got really home sick and thought that she couldn't do it. I remember exactly what Lita said to her that made her feel better. At first it might have sounded a bit mean. But it was very helpfull to her. Cherie and Lita didn't get along very well at all.

But I hope that they  never hated eachother. Cherie got pregnant after the  tour in Europe. She had to get an abortion right before we recorded "Queens of Noise" "What?'' I asked. "What the hell?? Cherie got knocked up?? How come no one said anything?'" "Wait..." Sandy repsonded."No one told you?? Not even Joan or Cherie??" I am very upset that I learned this from Sandy like three fucking years later. "No. No one said a thing, man."

How is Cherie doing??'' Sandy asked. "Please tell her that none of us hated her. I mean we never knew each other that well  because of a lot of things that were distracting her. Even though we made out a few times. It wasn't really her fault.  We all really wanted to focus on what Kim said we would become. I hope she's okay now. "She's doing a lot better." I answered. Okay once again.. I'm finding out that Cherie also made out with Sandy a few times. From Sandy.. Three fucking years later. "She is done with her addictions." I said. "That's great to know." Sandy said. "I heard that she is filming a movie right?" "Yeah, she is." I responded. "Well, I actually have to go, Tammy. Thank you for listening and talking to me." Sandy kissed me on the cheeck.

Well then... That was weird!

.....

I left the place where I ran into Sandy... I was walking around town.. Trying to get home. I was really tired. Then the jerks came up to me.!! "Hey Tammy. If it's a new generation.. Then why haven't we heard anything new about Joan Jett. She's not doing anything. And Lita Ford has signed to a new label.." "That still says something about a new generation for girls. Because at least somebody is continuing on." I answered. "Yeah but Joan isn't. "Still" I responded. "A girl from The Runaways is moving on with her carreer and the new generation for girls is continuing." 

"I thought that Joan was your best friend. Have you heard anything from her?" "Yes.. I've seen her a few days ago." I answered. "And was she falling apart?" "Look man. You got your wish. The Runaways have broken up. You happy now.? There's no point of you being a jackass anymore if you're not going to hear anything from them anymore. You got what you want. It's all in the pass now. And everyone is moving on. INCLUDING ME!!!." I walked away

Jeez what a day!!! 

.....

I walked into the kitchen. I relized that the phone was making weird flashes. Which means that someone called and left a message. "Hey Tammy, it's Cherie. I was wondering if you've heard anything from Joan or have seen her since The Runaways broke up. By the way... Sorry that I left like that the night of their last concert. Anyways.. Call me back if you know how Joan is doing.." 'Beep'. "UGHH" I didn't call Cherie back. I didn't want to say anything to her. I was a bit upset with her when Sandy told me a few things. Especially because she and Joan didn't say anything about it. I walked into my room and threw myself onto my bed.

I woke up a few hours later and found Cherie lying beside me on my bed. "Oh my god!" I screamed. What? She scared me. Cherie kissed me. "Hey. How's Joan?" I got out of my bed, walked out of my room and closed the door. I grabed my things and my guitar.. Remember that Joan and I were teaching eachother how to play guitar. I wasnt so great.. Joan was better. I had all of my things and walked out of the door.

....

I arrived at my usual meet and hangout spot. I found my friends. Everyone made out with eachother. But then everything got quiet when the door opened. We all looked up. And there was Joan. She looked around for a bit.. Everyone was just staring at her. Not saying a word."Hey" Joan said with no expression on her face. She walked around and sat down. I smiled. "Hey Joan. How are you?" Joan looked right at me and turned away. Is she upset at me or something? Oh god I hope not. I don't even know what it was that I did. Shit. She might have found out about me and Cherie being together at one point. Well I don't blame her. "So. You know about Cherie and I?" I asked. 

Joan turned around to look me in the eye. "What about you and Cherie?" Okay so she doesn't know. I guess she still is heart broken from The Runaways breaking up. I decided to continue on but change the subject. "So.. Are you still joining the army?" Joan sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah" She turned away and started making out with everyone. She stayed quiet after she talked to me. Damn it! I'm not going to let her give up everything. It would be worse if she gives up. It would be even worse for her when she joins the army.

I decided to start playing my guitar. I knew that my 'Being terrible at playing guitar' would help a bit by making Joan play guitar again. I was trying to play one of my favorite songs. Joan knew what song I was trying to play. And she knew that I kept messing up. Joan tried to ignore me. But after a minute of messing up.. Joan got annoyed, stoped making out with everyone sighed and moved over to me. She grabed my hand quite hard and moved it to a chord. "You put your hand there!" She said in a firm tone. 

Joan turned around and found everyone else making out with eachother. "Uggh!" She layed her head down.. Everything was quiet for a bit. I seriously need to get Joan back to herself again. I decided to break the silence. "I wish I could be in a band and play with you" I finaly said that to her after all these years. Joan  sighed. "Well... You can't!" Okay well this isn't working out too well so far. Maybe Joan needs to hear a little bit about how Cherie is doing. I kept y promise to Cherie. I need to tell Joan about the movie.

"I heard  that Cherie is filming a movie." Joan rolled her eyes. She had an angry look on her face. She sighed again. "Yeah"  Maybe something happened between her and Cherie when she left. "You don't need her, Joan. You should go solo. Like Bowie. Bowie's just... Bowie... He doesn't need any band. Neither do you. You're just as talented as he is." 

"Tammy, The Runaways were my band. I wrote most of Cherie's songs. And she would sing them." "Yeah" I responded. "People will always remember the singer. And you will continue on." Joan opened her mouth. She looked very angry. Joan got up and started yelling. "Alright, Everyone up! Get out!. Wake up!" Joan kicked and pushed people so they could get up and leave. "I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!" Everyone got up and ran out. I couldn't believe what just happened. "Tammy, sorry. Stay. Just keep playing. I'll see you later. Joan kissed me on the lips and walked out.