Memories {A compilation of Britin short stories}

Story 32: Bruised {Part 2}

A few weeks later, Brian was cleared to go home. Justin took him back to the loft in Brian's car. He was careful to only touch him lightly as he led him upstairs to the bedroom.

"I can walk," Brian said, raising his eyebrows. He wasn't going to let anything stop him. Including this. "What happened happened. But there are going to be some rules: Don't talk about it. Don't even think about it. And don't treat me like some invalid. I'm not."

Justin moved away from him slightly. "Alright. Whatever you want."

It was infuriating, the way Justin was so...perfect. Just the right amount of give and take. He couldn't stand it. "Could you just...go be somewhere else?"

Justin sat down on the couch. "Nope. I'm not letting you out of my sight so you better get used to it."

Brian clenched his fists. "Will you stop being so goddamn happy?" he growled. He hated this. His ribs still hurt. There had been two broken, and a fracture. The spit lip had healed, as had the cut on his forehead. Mostly.

"What do you want me to be, Brian? You don't want me to be upset about what happened to you and you don't want me to be happy. Make up your mind."

"I don't want you to be anything." He wasn't going to handle this. Brian grabbed his jacket, limping slightly. "I'm going out. Don't wait up."

Justin got up and blocked Brian's path to the door. "You're not going anywhere! You're going to get in that fucking bed, take your medicine and get some sleep."

"I don't need a mommy," Brian said, rolling his eyes. "Now get out of my way. I'm going to Babylon. You know, the club I own." He needed to get out of here.

"I don't care if you own it. Ted can fill in for you for awhile. Now get in that fucking bed!"

"Why should I?" Brian demanded. "So you can fawn all over me and make me chicken soup and play the dutiful housewife? I told you you didn't have to be here."

"Yes I do. Face it, Brian. You can't get through this on your own. The sooner you fucking realize that you need me the better both of our lives will. I'm not going anywhere and neither the fuck are you. Now get back in that fucking bed, take your fucking medication and go to sleep!"

"Yes, princess," Brian said, rolling his eyes. He needed to get out. It wasn't fair. It wasn't even comfortable. He should have been at Babylon. Not here. He'd not rebuilt it just to have it sit there. But he couldn't call anyone. Not even a trick. No names, no numbers, and he only fucked them once. Well, he still had Justin. "Only if you stuck me off."

Justin rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. If I suck you off will you stop fighting with me and go to sleep?"

Brian shrugged. "More or less." He would rather it be Justin than anyone else, actually. Because he actually trusted Justin. And loved him.

"It better be more." He wrapped a hand around the back of Brian's neck and leaned up to kiss him.

Instinctively, Brian wrapped his hand around the back of Justin's neck. He felt his breath hitch, but pushed past it.

Justin deepened the kiss, moving his lips on Brian's roughly. He moved his lips to Brian's neck, down his chest until he was on his knees. He started to undo Brian's jeans.

Brian shivered, forcing his gaze down on Justin. He was going to power through this. He would have to. Otherwise, he would have to accept what had happened, and he couldn't. He refused.

Justin felt Brian shiver and slowed down for a moment. When it was clear Brian wasn't going to stop him, he pulled his pants and boxers down. He took his cock and ran his tongue over the head. He took his dick in his mouth and started to suck slowly.

Slow and tentative. That was how it was, then. Like he was a virgin. God, Brian needed more than this. His fingers tightened in Justin's hair and forced him down further. Quicker. His body relaxed, and he rolled his hips, once, twice, and again.

Justin sucked faster cupping Brian's ass in his hands. He squeezed his cheeks deep throating his cock.

Brian's first mistake was looking up. He took his eyes off Justin for one moment, and everything fell to pieces. He remembered the way the guy had sucked him first, then given him a pill. Told him it was E. It hadn't been. "Stop," he said firmly, his voice strained. "Stop. Now."

Justin stopped sucking and looked up at Brian. He had started breathing heavier like he was panicking. "Brian? Are you ok?" He stood to his feet.

Say something, he told himself. Anything. Fucking anything! Instead, Brian just shook his head. How was it that his partner couldn't even suck him off? Pathetic. He was pathetic.

Justin placed his hands on Brian's shoulder. "Brian...Brian look at me. It's ok to feel like this. What happened to you was traumatic."

"You're not my fucking therapist," Brian said, clenching his teeth. He didn't meet Justin's gaze. The walls were coming up. The walls that Justin had worked so hard to break down.

"I'm not trying to be. I'm trying to help you. I know how you feel better than anyone else." Justin continued to try to get Brian to look at him. He wanted Brian to open up to him, not push him away. He knew that if he couldn't get through to him, no one could and Brian would detach himself from everyone.

Slowly, Brian let his eyes slip shut. He nodded once and pressed his face into Justin's neck. "Yeah, Sunshine. You do." No one knew Brian like Justin did. Not even Mikey. Justin was just...the one who got under his skin. The one who had really gotten to him. "Let's go to bed."

Justin ran his hands through Brian's hair and kissed his cheek. "Ok, let's go to bed." He took Brian's hand and led him over to the bed. He stripped to his underwear and climbed in the bed with Brian.

Brian stared at the bed for several minutes before he pulled his own clothing off. He didn't care what he wore. All of it ended up on the floor, and he climbed beneath the covers.

Justin moved closer to Brian wrapping his arms around his waist. "Don't think about it. It'll be ok. It just takes time."

"How exactly do I just not think about it?" he asked. He didn't stop Justin from moving close, though. "It happened. And every time I close my eyes it's still happening."

"Just focus on something else. Something that makes you happy or makes you feel safe." He kissed his cheek.

"It's not that easy," Brian growled. "Just because you're here and you're...you and fuckable and good doesn't mean you can erase everything else. For fuck's sake."

"I got better, didn't I? You're not going to forget it. You'll never forget it, but the pain subsides over time." He stroked his cheek. "Go to sleep."

Letting out a sigh, Brian nodded and closed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Justin, holding him closely. It was a start. Not a sexual touch, but much like the way Gus held the elephant toy that Brian had gotten him. For protection.

.D{ݾ\p