Memories {A compilation of Britin short stories}

Story 32: Bruised {Part 6}

Brian was fine for the first few minutes. Being alone wasn't that big of a deal. Hell, he had lived here alone for much of his life. But he'd never really been alone. There'd always been plenty of company. He checked the door five times in the first minute and a half that Justin was gone.

Justin told Jennifer that Brian was still healing otherwise he would have come with him. He ate his dinner and laughed and talked with Jennifer and Molly, but he was on edge about leaving Brian alone. He checked the clock continuously to see how long he had been away.

Half an hour. That was how long Brian lasted before he called. But he didn't call Justin. He didn't call Michael. Instead, he called the one person who had been more of a parent to him than anyone else. "Hey Debs. You uh...got any tuna macaroni casserole?" Of course he couldn't eat it, but that wasn't the point.

6 hours after he had left, Justin came back home. He opened the door to the loft. Debbie was sitting at the counter with Brian eating tuna casserole and talking. Justin put his keys down by the door. "I'm back."

Brian looked at him, his eyes red. Tuna casserole meant one thing. Getting stoned and talking about emotions and shit that Brian just didn't do while he was sober. "She knows," he said quietly. He had needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't a therapist.

Justin looked at Debbie. "He told you?"

Debbie nodded. "It's the last thing I would have expected to happen to Brian. Why did you fucking keep it a secret? I know why he did."

"He didn't want me to tell you or anyone."

"I still don't want people to know. It can't get out. Do you hear me?" If people heard, if people knew...He shook his head. "As far as everyone else knows, this never happened."

Debbie nodded. "I'll respect what you want to do, honey. But just know that this is going to eat you up the longer you hold it in and one day, you'll let it consume you, until you explode."

"You know. And Justin knows. Michael knows. Who the fuck else needs to know?" Brian asked. It was a personal thing that had happened to him. No one needed to know.

"How about the other people that care about you? The ones that would practically kill anyone over you. You can't deal with this alone, Brian. And the people that do know, you push them away. I know you do. You hate people to help you and take care of you because you're fucking Brian Kinney and can do everything on your own. Well. you can't do this on your own."

"Calm down, Debbie. I'm not doing it on my own. Like I said, I have you and Michael and Justin. I'm sure that by now Michael's told Ben, and they've told Hunter. The only ones out of the loop are Emmett and Ted." And he didn't know if he wanted them to know. He didn't know how to break it to them.

Debbie sighed, but looked on the verge of tears. No matter how much she thought Brian was a selfish asshole, she loved him like a son. She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm glad you're alive, honey. He could have killed you."

Brian rested his head on her shoulder, allowing himself to breathe. It was difficult, though. The only thing that kept him from flashing back was the way her perfume clogged his nostrils. "He came here," he whispered.

Debbie pulled away. "What?"

"Yesterday," Justin explained for Brian, "He came here and brought Brian's wallet back. He punched me in the face then told Brian that he wasn't done. That he would come back for me. He didn't mean it. He was just trying to scare him."

"I don't know if he did or not," Brian said softly. The thought that this trick would come back to hurt Justin...He shook his head. "So we're having the locks changed. And I'm installing a security camera. I don't want to take any risks."

Justin still didn't think the trick meant anything. He just wanted to get Brian jumpy and torture him.

"If you go out, I want you to let me know where," Brian said. "And I want you to let me know when you get there and when you leave."

"What are you? My fucking watch dog now?"

"Your fucking partner," Brian snapped. "So watch your fucking mouth."

Justin blinked in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry for trying to keep you safe. Didn't know that would be a problem," he growled.

"Sorry. I know you're trying to keep me safe."

Brian didn't know what to say to that, so he just grunted and took another puff of the joint.

Justin sat down at the counter with them and grabbed the tuna casserole. He started eating.

Debbie had the 'see what I mean' face, but she didn't say anything.

"Why not have some casserole," Brian said. "While you're at it, here." He held the joint out to Justin. "And I swear to god if you stamp it out I won't sleep with you for a week." He needed something better than that. He couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone for a very long time right now.

Justin took the joint and took a drag. Brian's threat was empty. He wouldn't sleep with him now even if he wanted to. "I wouldn't stomp it out. I need to let loose a little."

Brian just nodded and held his hand out for it again. He tried not to notice the way it shook, but at the same time, he knew that they both would. Justin and Debbie.

Justin and Debbie exchanged looks of worry seeing Brian's hand shake whenever he touched something. It was like he was nervous not just be touched, but to touch. Justin shook his head and Debbie so she wouldn't comment on it.

Taking the joint, Brian inhaled several times. It wasn't just puff puff pass. It was more like triple that before the pass. Slowly, though, he felt his mind relax. That was what he had needed. Nothing more.

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