Memories {A compilation of Britin short stories}

Story 32: Bruised {Part 10}

Jennifer was surprised to see her son, though it wasn't completely unwelcome. "Justin, sweetie, what happened?" She asked. She, like the others, knew Brian had been attacked. But she didn't know the full story.

"Brian kicked me out," he deadpanned. All he felt was a hallow space in his chest and a lump in his throat. "Can I stay here?"

Jennifer's eyes widened. "What do you mean he kicked you out? Come in. Tell me everything."

"I can't tell you everything mom." Justin walked inside with her. "I promised Brian I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Justin, you have to tell me why he kicked you out. Now I'm half tempted to go over there and chew his sorry ass out."

"Don't do that. He's already messed up enough as it is." Justin sat down on the couch. "He hasn't been the same since he got mugged."

"Well can you blame him? You weren't the same for months. It took three months for me to let Brian back into your life, and then he still had to help you."

"I'm surprised he had so much patience with me. I feel like I can't do the same for him. I feel helpless."

"You need to stand up for yourself. If you honestly think he's better with you, which we both know it is, then push your way back in his life."

"He's unstable. I'm afraid of what he's going to do to himself but he won't let me help him. He barely lets me touch him."

"So don't touch him," Jennifer said with a shrug. "Although I don't see why it would be hard for him to accept your touch."

Justin looked away from his mother. "Brian was raped." He had to tell someone.

Jennifer didn't know what to say to that. Of all people. Brian Kinney. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything." He looked up. "You can't tell anyone. He doesn't want anyone to know."

"Now will you tell me the real reason he kicked you out?" she asked, crossing her arms. "You're a horrible liar."

"When he was 14, his gym coach made him suck his cock. He never told anyone and he's kept his feelings about it bottled up. But they all came back when he was raped 3 weeks ago. I was trying to tell him that he fucks a lot because it makes him feel in control. It makes him feel like the dominant one. He thought I meant that it was the reason he was gay. He yelled at me and kicked me out."

"Then explain it to him. Although you might not want to tell him that in that many words. Justin...you took the one thing he's always used for fun or stress relief or whatever, and you twisted it around on him. You made it something toxic to him." Perhaps it really was kinder to say nothing at all.

"I know. I should have kept my mouth shut." Justin put his head in his hands. "I can't explain it to him. He wouldn't listen to me."

"Justin look at me. You've gone after him since you were seventeen. No matter what he did, no matter who he fucked, you were always right there. Even when he didn't want you to be. What changed?"

Justin had to take a momentarily pause. What did change? Nothing had. He still loved Brian. He still wanted to be there for Brian. So what did change? Why was he sitting at his mom's house complaining like some little faggot? "Nothing changed."

"So what are you doing here, instead of trying to get him back? You love him. And in spite of everything he's been through, he loves you. He trusts you. Give him a reason to," Jennifer said gently.

Justin stood up then leaned down to kiss his mom on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom. You always know what to say." He walked out the door and drove back to the loft.