Murder The Moment [BoyXBoy]

.:14:.

I softly rested my head on Vic's shoulder, while sighing deeply. Today was a bad day and I knew that as soon as I woke up. It all started with a dream of Katelynne. It wasn't a nightmare, it just showed her living her perfect little life with her boy toy. I felt so much envy towards her, but the emotions slowly changed to sorrow when I realised that I would never live that way. Vic had promised me that I would see Copeland, which was absolutely amazing, but what then? Everything would go back to the way it was before and nothing would change.

I could feel myself slowly cracking, until I, too, would be broken.

I was unbelievably thankful towards Vic for being here for me. Although, I had noticed that, over the last week or so, since we started using group A's courtyard, he was not around as often, during the day, and came to my room late in the evening or sometimes in the very early hours of the day (2 am, for example). When I questioned him about it, he explained that he was arranging some things with M at his office. He did not want to say much more, so I guessed that it was about Mike or something else that was important.

Vic had stayed with me all night. He actually did that a lot, since we did not see each other throughout most of the day, but it was usually just to have some company before both of us would fall asleep on my bed. This time, however, he knew that I was not in a good state of mind and he just wanted to be there for me. Vic was such a kind person and I looked up to him for it. Even with the whole intimidating exterior, on the inside he was a kind-hearted and lovable man. I aspired to be like him one day.

"We should get some breakfast, you didn't eat anything yesterday," Vic suggested and I was about to decline, when my stomach made a loud rumbling sound and there was no use in denying the fact that I was hungry. So we silently headed off to the cafeteria halfway through the breakfast hour.

Vic's fingers laced with mine under the table, in a comforting gesture, as we sat in our usual place, side by side. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, along with one of the warmest smiles I had ever received. I kind of wished that I could be sad more often, if this was how I would be treated by Vic. He was my only hope here and I wanted nothing but his comfort.

Upon sitting in the cafeteria for a few minutes, I noticed that it was considerably quieter than usual. There was the obvious soft murmur between everyone, but the tension felt like a huge weight which pushed down on my shoulders. I could sense that something was going on and I did not like it one bit.

After a while, Vic politely excused himself and left the cafeteria, giving me a cheeky wink on his way out. This instantly cheered me up and my face was set ablaze at the gesture. Vic could be such a dork.

Sometimes I wondered if this was how friends were supposed to behave around each other. Sure, Justin and I did some pretty gay things together, but never to this degree... However I knew that Vic and I thought of one another as just friends and nothing more. Things could not go any further than that anyway and there were many reasons for that: firstly, we were both in fucking jail; secondly, I had a little daughter; and thirdly, I was not gay. As much as I liked his voice and his smile and his laugh and him, in general, Vic and I were simply impossible. Wait...why was I even thinking about this?

Over the last few days I realised that Gerard and Frank were not with the group as often either. This left me alone, but I did not mind. Sometimes being alone was fine. After Vic had stayed with me for so long, I found myself clinging onto the mere fact that he existed, for comfort. And it definitely worked with keeping my mind off of my inescapable problems and insecurities.

Wanting to free myself from the mental stress of the cafeteria, I headed off to the unfamiliar courtyard. I had finally grown slightly accustomed to it. And, by that, I mean that I knew how to get there without following behind anyone like I was lost.